


Balance

by Pride_And_Prejudice_In_Space



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, The Last Jedi
Genre: ALL THE FLUFF, After TLJ, F/M, Lots of Reylo, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Post-TLJ, Reylo - Freeform, ben's trying, but we need the fluff, fluffety fluff, kind of out of character, space mom leia, these kids don't know how relationships work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-03-08 17:44:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 26,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13463322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pride_And_Prejudice_In_Space/pseuds/Pride_And_Prejudice_In_Space
Summary: Six months after the Battle of Crait, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren requests an in-person meeting with the last Jedi, Rey of Jakku. Together, they will decide the fate of the galaxy.*formerly "Kneel"*





	1. Just a Man

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Kneel](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/367221) by AreWeGonnaHaveAProblem (still me). 



> This work (specifically the first chapter) was originally based off of amkatepet's tumblr post.
> 
> https://amkatepet.tumblr.com/post/168588499089/i-have-an-idea-for-episode-9-ben-seeks-out-rey-to
> 
> I originally published this on another website, but have since gotten an account here. I decided that since it's by far my most popular work, it isn't exactly a bad thing to start off with.

It's been six months since the Battle of Crait.

Six months since the death of Snoke.

Six months since Kylo Ren assumed the position of the First Order's Supreme Leader.

Six months since the death of Jedi Master Luke Skywalker.

Six months since the Resistance was wrecked to practically nothing.

Six months since Ben Solo died.

However, our connection has not. We never acknowledge each other, but sometimes he'll be standing across the room from me, staring, never speaking. Whether I'm in a meeting, by myself, it doesn't matter. He just stands there and stares at me. I don't want to admit it, but I have often found myself doing the same.

Once we just stood there and stared for nearly an hour, neither one of us wanting to relent.

He hasn't renewed his offer to me, not that I would accept it if he did.

_You're nothing…but not to me._

He's right. He's right, and I hate it. I am nothing, nobody, from nowhere. I have admitted as much several times.

Meanwhile, he has always been someone: the son of Princess Leia Organa and General Han Solo, the nephew and Padawan of Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, the grandson of Darth Vader, the master of the knights of Ren, the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

We could not be more opposite.

And yet, to him I am someone. To someone who has always been someone, a no one is someone. But I don't want to be someone to Kylo Ren. I want to be someone to Ben Solo, but he's dead. He died that day and was replaced by a mere shell of who he is. A shell which stands before me now.

"Rey."

"Kylo."

"Rey." His voice softens, wanting me to call him "Ben" and not "Kylo", but he doesn't deserve that name.

"What do you want?" You haven't spoken to me once in these months, what is so important now?

"I would like to arrange a meeting with you, in person." He stands very straight, arms behind his back, feet shoulder width apart, every inch a leader.

"No." I turn to leave, to try and get away from him even though I know that I can't. But he grabs my arm to stop me.

"Please," His dark eyes plead, bags clearly visible beneath. "Rey."

"Why? Why should I meet with you? What do you possibly have to offer me? How do I know that this isn't a trick to kill me?"

"I let you go, didn't I?" He snaps. "I let you escape on Crait. I could've destroyed you there, but I didn't. Haven't you wondered why?" I have.

"Why do you want to meet now? You haven't spoken a word to me despite this happening basically on a weekly basis."

"I haven't had the courage." He admits, still holding to my arm. "I was afraid."

"And I am supposed to believe that you suddenly have gained the confidence now?"

"What's sudden about six months?"

"The answer is no, Kylo." He cringes.

"I'll leave my saber behind." He adds quickly. "I will come unarmed and alone if you promise to do the same."

"Why isn't this something that you could do during one of these?"

"I miss you." I miss you, too. My eyes stay trained on the ground. I shouldn't go. This could be a trap or a trick so easily. He's so insistent which implies to me that he as a plan. But I miss him. I miss Ben.

"Where and when?" He's practically beaming.

"Back to where this all started, Takodana." Takodana.

"Then I assume that you are planning on having this all end there as well, for dramatic irony or whatever." He is very dramatic.

"I promise that I am coming alone and unarmed." He isn't lying. "Meet me there in a week at sunrise."

Then he's gone.

-oOo-

I lie to everyone about where I'm going. General Organa knows, but only her. It is her son after all. She didn't say anything about him, just gave me permission to leave. "Be careful."

"I will."

Now I'm just about to land. The ruins of Maz's former castle are somewhat weathered, nature begins to reclaim what was once its own. His ship is on one side of the destroyed building, so I land on the other.

Where this all started.

The trek to that portion of the forest feels so much longer than it probably should. My mind buzzes with questions of how this is going to go, what he wants to speak about, whether or not he kept his promise.

Initially, I don't see him. Looking for his tall form amongst the trees doesn't sound too difficult.

But he isn't standing.

He's kneeling in the clearing where he first entered my mind and abducted me.

"What is this?" I scoff. "The great Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren, on his knees before a nothing."

His dark head rises, and his eyes bore into mine. "No, just Ben Solo, a man, on his knees before the woman he loves."


	2. With a Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so what happened with this story was that it was supposed to just be a one-shot, but then it got a whole lot of attention on fanfiction.net. All of these people were demanding that I write more, and it became a whole long story. I've also decided that I may end up rewriting some parts for this site, clarifying things that don't quite make sense and just working on descriptions (I'm not very good at that).   
> So, without any further delay or ado, here's chapter two!

"Kylo." I sigh. "Don't do this to me. What did I do to deserve this?"

"I'm not lying to you. I've never lied to you." He doesn't stand, just watches me pace angrily. His brown eyes follow my every step.

"Then I'm just supposed to believe that after six months you realized that what you did was wrong, unprompted? I'm supposed to believe that the Supreme Leader of the First Order defected, and we didn't hear about it?" This is ridiculous. "What precisely is your motivation for doing this? You know very well that I won't accept you if you have remained unchanged."

"I have changed."

"So, then what? The war is over? Hux is no longer a problem? You're just going to let the Resistance go? We're just going to walk away today and live happily ever after? Kylo, as far as three-fourths of the Galaxy is concerned, you should be executed for your crimes. The other fourth has just somehow avoided knowledge of you."

"And what about you? What do you think should happen to me?" He rises and walks closer to me, we're closer than we were on that elevator. "Am I still a monster?"

I don't reply, just stare at him.

"Do you love me?" He's leaning over, placing his face intoxicatingly close to mine.

"I believe that I could love Ben Solo," I admit. "However, I know that I will never love Kylo Ren."

I take a step back, a step away from him. He's still Kylo Ren. He's still the Supreme Leader. His bare hand grabs mine to keep me from leaving. All of the air leaves my body.

"Let go." It's a weak protest at best given my lack of oxygen. He ignores me, instead shifting my hand in his so that he's just holding to my fingers with the palm of my hand draped over his fingers. He doesn't let go but does slowly raise our hands to his mouth. Never breaking eye contact, he presses his lips to my knuckles.

This is the first actual skin-to-skin contact we've ever had.

The only other time we came close it wasn't real. It was the Force Bond.

His lips slowly leave my hand, and he releases it. I wish he hadn't. "As you wish."

"Come back with me," I beg, taking his hands again. His skin is a lot smoother than you would think. Perhaps it's just that my hands are so rough from scavenging. "Come home."

"I told you, it's time to let old things die. The Resistance, First Order, Jedi, Sith, everything."

"What about your mother?" He tenses. "If you destroy the Resistance, you destroy her."

"I don't mean to kill them all."

"You could've fooled me." I spat. "You were willing to let the fleet be destroyed after Snoke's death, then you practically destroyed the Resistance on Crait."

"I didn't know she was alive." What? "I thought that my mother was dead."

"You couldn't sense-"

"No." That explains a lot. "I was cracked to the core at that point. First, there was...my father, then my defeat on Starkiller, Snoke. When that Tie Fighter shot the bridge, I thought that I watched my mother die, and I couldn't do anything about it. When you get back, tell her that I didn't take the shot, please."

"I will."

"Thank you."

"What about now?" I ask hesitantly, attempting to steer the conversation away from something which torments him.

"Now I've had six months to get over it. We could put an end to this war, Rey. We could join together, meet in the middle. We could start over, build a new galaxy, a balanced galaxy." His right-hand releases my left, and he cups my cheek in his palm. "No First Order. No Resistance. No Dark. No Light. Only Balance."

"I will not take part in a dictatorship. I will not be an empress." I was ruled over practically all my life, I will not allow others to go through that.

"It doesn't have to be an empire, Rey. It can be a democracy. We don't have to rule, but we have to start it. We're the last Force Users in the galaxy. We have to play a part." His dark eyes beg me to join him.

"With the two of us constantly fighting between the Light and the Dark? One of us cannot change if we wish to be 'balanced'."

"We're equals, Rey. We are equal in the Dark and the Light. Together we are the balance. Never mind if one of us changes, if we meet in the middle, in the gray, there will still be a balance." He releases my other hand, and his left-hand mirrors his right.

"And what precisely is your plan for General Hux and the other First Order members? Do you think that they will just accept this? The Resistance certainly won't."

"I didn't say that this was going to be an instantaneous process. It will take time, but we can do it. You go back to the Resistance, I go back to the Order, and we start planting the seeds. We start opening everyone up to the idea of the balance. Once we feel that everyone is willing, we meet and discuss terms of ending the war and starting over. Neither side wins, but neither side loses."

"You've thought this through."

"What do you think I've done for the past six months?"

"Brooded." Stared at me from across a room for hours.

"Well, I have done that as well." He smirks. Wow. "What do you say?"

"I want to believe you. I want this to work. But how do I know that you're telling the truth?" I step back so his hands release my face.

"You don't." He admits. "You're just going to have to have faith in me."

"I have faith in Ben Solo." I take a deep breath. "And I hope that that's enough."

He steps towards me again, taking my cheek in one of his hands, and intertwining our fingers together with the other. "Rey."

"Ben." My right-hand cups his jaw and gently leads his lips towards mine. It's a strange feeling, being kissed, not one I've experienced before. Rose has gushed to me about how when it's done right, you can feel the planet move beneath your feet, and all of time stands still. It isn't quite that, but his lips are warm and soft and smooth. It's awkward, he clearly hasn't done this much before either, but that just gives me more confidence.

It's also over way to soon. "You asked why I demanded we have this meeting in person? It's because I didn't want that to not be real."

"You're such an optimist."


	3. The General

"I have to go back soon," I inform him. "Leia is the only person who knows that I'm here."

"I don't want to go." He admits. "I don't want you to leave."

"We'll see each other soon. It's inevitable." Not that we can control it.

"Will we be meeting up like this again before?" He threads his fingers through my hair and plays with the ends.

"I hope so." I gently squeeze his hand. "I'll see you soon."

"I love you." Ben. Please.

"I'll see you soon," I repeat. Please not now.

"We should probably practice triggering communications. We can't just hope that one will happen at a convenient time." True.

"How do we do that?"

"I don't know." Thanks. "Just, when you get back, try to reach out to me, let me know that you're safe."

"I will. You do the same."

"I will." He promises. He steps closer to me again, eyes trained on my lips. I quickly press my lips to his before backing away.

"Stay safe." I walk away from him backward for a few steps until our joined hands have to release.

-oOo-

"Rey! What happened? What did he want?" Leia asks as soon as I exit my ship.

"It's a private matter. Is there somewhere we can go without being overheard?" I look at the other Resistance members and droids in the hangar. They don't need to know our plan. Leia quickly ushers me to her private office, one of the few rooms without security cameras.

"What did he want?"

"He has made a proposition to me. He wants the two of us to come together and create a balanced universe. Currently, our goal is to open up everyone's minds to the idea of balance. Once we feel that everyone is open to it, the First Order and Resistance meet to negotiate the settlements of the war. No one wins, no one loses. After that, we start over, we build a democracy."

"And the two of you?"

"Together we are balanced."

"Together?" Leia raises a thin eyebrow at me.

"Yes, together."

"Did  _my son_  tell you anything else?"

"Nothing else of relevance." The older woman gives me a knowing look. I do not want to talk to you about your son in that way, Leia. "Do you believe that this could work?" Please let me change the subject.

"I don't know. It's very risky, that First Order General, Hux, does not seem the type to negotiate. However, Kylo Ren is now the Supreme Leader of the First Order. He should be able to do it."

"Is there anything that I should tell him?"

"Tell him that I'm on board, but extremely wary. It will take more to convince the others of meeting in the middle. However, we are not in a good position, Rey. Any chance we have to build a better world, we have to take." She places her hand on top of mine which rests on my knee. "I assume that you will be contacting him soon."

"Yes, he asked me to contact him as soon as I arrived."

"He wants to make sure that you're safe." Her smile is gentle and patient, but I'm still uncomfortable. "Please tell him that he's always welcome home, please. Also, tell him that I love him."

"I will. I promise."

"Thank you."

"Leia, there's something else." I made a promise.

"What?"

"He asked me to tell you that he didn't take the shot."

-oOo-

"Ben?" I sit in my room at the foot of my bed. "Ben?"

Not working.

I can feel Master Luke's spirit laughing at me from beyond.

Fine. I cross my legs and start to meditate. I clear my mind, rid myself of the Resistance Base around me and call out into the galaxy.

_Ben._

"Rey." My eyes fly open to see him standing there in his cape and gloves. "You made it back?"

"I got back an hour ago, but I had to meet with Leia. You made it back, right?" I stand and walk towards him.

"Yes, I did. Did you tell her?" He starts taking off his gloves and cape, they disappear as soon as they leave his hands.

"Yes." I nod. "She's on board, but worried. She's worried about Hux."

"Aren't we all?" He asks. "He's attempted to kill me three times now."

"Why don't you do something about him?" You haven't had many issues with killing before.

"He runs the military. Since we lost Phasma, he's the only one keeping it from falling apart."

"We won't need that." That is if you've been telling me the truth.

"Slow transition, remember? I couldn't very well just show up, disband the military, fire the leaders, and expect everyone to do as I say." Damnit, he's right. "Anyways, it's good that she's on board. That will make things easier on your side."

"She has a message for you." He freezes. "She wanted me to tell you that you're always welcome back, welcome home and that she loves you."


	4. Trust Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people cannot be left in the dark.

"Does she?"

"Yes, yes, of course, she does." I walk over, taking his hand. "She's your mother, after all."

He gives me a look, reminding me of how my own parents treated me.

"She loves you, Ben. She wants you to come home."

"I have a job to do now, Rey. If I leave, Hux will fill my place, and this will never end."

"And after?"

"We have to survive to after."

"Is there anything that you want me to tell her?" If he's going to be difficult, I'm not going to push it.

"Tell her that I love her, too."

-oOo-

Leia asked me to leave after I told her that. Her emotions oozed out of her: confusion, anger, joy, relief, peace, hope…

"Rey!" I turn to see Finn running up behind me.

"Hey!"

"How did your 'super-secret Jedi business' go?" He slings his arm around my shoulder and starts leading me towards the caf.

"Fine, it went fine. I learned a lot." Not a lie.

"What did you learn?" 

"Not anything that you would understand." I tease.

"That's probably true." Yeah, yeah it is. I haven't told Finn about the Force Bond. I never told Master Luke. The only ones who know are Ben, Leia, and myself. I also most definitely did not tell Finn that I started falling for Kylo Ren. As far as he or really anyone knows, I went onto that ship, killed Snoke, fought Kylo Ren, and then the saber was destroyed. But if we're actually going to do this, I can't…I can't let my best friend feel like I'm betraying him.

"Finn, if I tell you something personal, you promise not to judge me, right?"

"Yeah, of course." I'm not so sure.

"I don't know how you're going to feel about me after I tell you this," I warn. "We should go somewhere private."

I drag him to the quarters I share with his girlfriend, Rose. She's currently working, so it'll be empty. "What's wrong, Rey?"

"For the time being, nothing I tell you leaves this room," I order. "Promise. Not to Poe, not to Rose, no one."

"I promise." He looks afraid.

"I have been connected through the Force to Ben Solo." I stare, waiting for his anger. "We are bonded together. We can communicate telepathically. We don't control when it happens, just randomly he'll be here, with me."

"Do you…do you speak with him?" Finn's voice is strained as he desperately attempts to not lash out.

"Yes, I do." That did it.

"Rey!" He jumps up. "What's wrong with you? He's the Supreme Leader of the First Order! He killed Han! He sliced my back in half! He invaded your mind! Why would you talk to him? Have you gotten to the point that's it casual? Do you ask him what he had for dinner? Does he ask you?"

"Last week was the first time we had spoken since Crait." I snap back.

"He's using you to destroy us, Rey!" He yells.

"No, he isn't." I slowly force him to sit back down. "I don't expect you to understand all of this, Finn. I don't. It's a lot to take it, it was a lot for me. But please listen to me, I can't lose my best friend, my first friend."

"You have three minutes." Thank goodness. Pointing out how he was my first friend will generally get him to listen. He knows how lonely I was for most of my life that the guilt of me being an adult before finding a friend will calm him.

"The Force bonded Ben and me together for a reason. We believe that the reason is for us to restore balance to the universe." I don't believe what Snoke said about him forging the bond, after all, it did persist even after his death. "Together, we can bring an end to this war. We have a plan, to open everyone's minds to the idea of a compromise, and then have the Resistance and First Order meet to negotiate the end of the war. After that, we all start over, build a new democracy. Leia approves of our plan."

"Who came up with this plan?"

"Him."

"And you believe him?"

"Yes, I do." We sit in silence, neither wanting to look the other in the eye.

"You love him, don't you?" Finn finally looks at me, eyes soft, pleading with me to answer negatively. "It's the only explanation. I know you, Rey, you're protective of those you love in a way that you are of no one else."

"I may," I admit both to him and myself for the first time. "My family is small, Finn, made up of people that have chosen me for me. I've lost enough people in my life that I refuse to lose any more."

"Rey." He sighs. "This is a terrible idea."

"But it's the best one we have." The Resistance barely exists, if we can end this war with any form of victory, we have to do it. "Enough people have died."

"I don't trust him."

"I don't expect you to." I take his hand and urge him to look at me again. "But I want you to trust me."


	5. Talking to Air

"How are you doing?" I watch as he takes off his gloves and cape. "How's the plan going?"

"About what you'd think." He sits down on what I assume for him is some form of flat surface. However, to me, he's sitting on nothing. I never really thought about this before, that he would just be sitting on nothing to me. "It's going to take a while."

"Am I floating to you?"

"What?" He asks, thoroughly baffled.

"Am I sitting on anything, or am I just floating?"

"You're sitting on something."

"What?" His cheeks start turning red. "What am I sitting on, Ben?"

"My bed." Oh. "Why do you ask if you're floating?"

"Because you are."

"I am?" He looks down as if he could see anything in my room.

"Yeah, you are." I laugh aloud at his reaction.

"I didn't really think about this, I guess it makes sense. We're in two rooms with completely different layouts, after all."

"That's true, how does that translate?" How does any of this work?

"I don't know."

"How does it decide how close we are? I just…none of this makes much sense." He's been trying to figure out how this bond works since it started.

"I don't know."

"I've looked into the archives, to find out more about Force Bonds."

"And?"

"There isn't much there, mostly just different cases and brief descriptions of their experiences. I didn't learn anything of use to us." He sighs. "What time is it there?"

"Just about sunset."

"When will your roommate be returning?"

"She normally comes back after dinner with Finn." Around 1900 standard. "We have about an hour."

"Specifically, with Finn, no one else?"

"Yes, they're in a relationship." Like we could be if you would stop being a dick. Well, that's probably not the right way to say it. I guess, like we could be if we didn't have a war going on around us.

"That's nice."

"Yes, it is." Our eye contact breaks and we both look around our respective rooms. "She often gushes to me about how 'sweet and awful at being romantic, but he's trying so hard' Finn is. Poe gives him a lot of advice."

"And what do you say?"

"I just sit there and let her gush." No, Ben, I don't talk about you.

"How do you feel about those stereotypical romantic things?"

"Looking for suggestions?"

"Maybe." Well, there goes our eye contact again.

"I like flowers," I admit after a long, awkward silence. "Like potted ones, that are still alive. I had this one flower back on Jakku that I shared my water with. It barely survived, but it did."

"A resilient desert flower, seems appropriate." He smiles, he genuinely smiles. It's a beautiful smile. "Anything else?"

"Rose introduced me to chocolates."

"From where?"

"I don't remember."

"Naboo has the best chocolates." And I am sure that I will be receiving some. "Anything else?"

"We can't do much else, Ben. You're not really here, I'm not really there." I remind him, sometimes it's easy to forget. "If someone walked in during one of these, we would look like crazy people talking to nothing."

"We could look crazier." A smirk breaks across his face.

"Don't do that!" My face heats up, and I cover it in embarrassment.

"Do what?"

"What's gotten into you?" I peak out between my fingers. "Never in a million years did I expect something like that out of you."

"I don't know how this stuff works either, Rey!" What? "The only romantic relationship I've ever really gotten to witness is my parents. They aren't very good role models in that regard as far as I can tell. I'm trying."

"I know. I'm trying, too."

"Come here." He pats the spot next to him.

"Again, you are floating, Ben." He stands and walks over to me. His tall form towers over me as he takes my jaw into his bare hands. Tilting my face up, he carefully studies my every feature. The pad of his finger brushes along the small scar on my right cheek.

"How did you get this?"

"I don't remember, something on Jakku when I was a kid." He looks conflicted before leaning over and pressing his lips to the scar as if his kiss could heal it. He pulls back slightly and stares at my lips. I nod slightly, and his lips instantly descend upon mine. It feels just as real as it did on Takodana. He's warm and soft. His long fingers thread through my hair. Jarringly, he moves to stand on his knees so that he isn't awkwardly bent over. His hands move to my waist as he pulls me closer to the edge of my bed. "Careful. You might pull me off the edge here."

"This is going to take some getting used to." I hear the lock starting to open.

"Rose. Go." He doesn't vanish but does let go of me.

"Hey."

"Hey?" She gives me a strange look. "What happened to your hair?"

"I took a nap," I say too quickly.

"Okay." She doesn't believe me. "If there's a boy hiding in this room, I'll leave."

"No, no boy." I look at the boy who is not really here.

"Don't lie to me, Rey. I tell you stuff about Finn, it's only fair you tell me about whoever." No, Rose, I can't.

"There's no boy, Rose." Ben just kind of stands there and listens to one-half of the conversation.

"Fine, don't tell me. Realize that I will figure it out eventually, though." I seriously doubt it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you gotta remember that his dad is Han Solo, a guy who tries extremely hard to be suave, but is as smooth as sandpaper.


	6. Drawings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One Month Later

"It's been way too long since a First Order attack. They have to be planning something big." Poe insists. "Maybe it's another Starkiller."

"No, they won't try it again. Three times is enough." General Organa insists. "I have been given intelligence that they don't seem to be planning an attack on us."

"Where from?" Please don't, Poe.

"It doesn't matter. I trust the source. They're not planning anything." Thanks, Leia. "We're safe."

"For now. We still have to move, we still have to be prepared."

"I'm not saying that we shouldn't be, I'm saying that right now we have other concerns." Leia still walks with her cane; her near-death experience has taken quite a toll on her both physically and mentally. "We need to find a new base."

I kind of zone out after that. Ben is standing on the other side of the room, just watching. While we may be able to initiate force calls, we can't stop the random ones from happening. He just watches, probably assuming that I'm in public from my ignoring him. He just stands there, watching me. I know very well that he can't hear anyone around me or see it, but being in a Resistance meeting with the leader of the First Order right there is kind of uncomfortable. "I have to go."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, General, I suddenly feel like I'm going to throw up."

"Oh, go, go. Feel better, Rey." The older woman shoos me from the command room. I still don't really know how this works, but Ben follows me.

"I hope your quarters aren't far because I'm just walking around mine right now and don't want to leave them." That's kind of funny.

"Just so that you're aware, I was in a very important meeting."

"So was I. Hux came in to beg me to warrant an attack on literally anything. That man is extremely trigger-happy."

"Do you have any clue where we are?"

"I do because of this, but the Order doesn't." Good.

"Rey!" I turn to see my roommate running up behind me. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine, I just feel nauseous. I occasionally have issues with space travel after not doing it my entire life."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Finn told me about him." Kriff.

"About who?" I try to play it off.

"About the General's son." Kriff.

"I swear that if you tell anyone-"

"I haven't. It's not my place. But, Rey, seriously. He's terrible. He's a horrible person. I don't understand how-"

"No, he isn't. I don't expect you or anyone to understand. Honestly, I don't understand." I honestly don't. "Rose, I know that this seems crazy and is, but we'll be able to end the war. Didn't you tell Finn, 'this is how we're going to win. Not by killing those we hate, but by saving those we love'?"

"That's different, and you know it. I saved him from a suicide mission, you're attempting to save our enemy."

"I love him." Kriff, I forgot he's here. I slowly turn to look at him…he's gone. Kriff. Either he heard that panicked and left or he was gone before I said that.

"You what?" She's thoroughly confused.

"I love him, Rose."

"Why? When? How?"

"I don't know. I can't name the hour or the day, but…I love him now."

"You're crazy."

"Maybe I am."

-oOo-

_Rey._

"Ben." I blink and he's there, standing in front of me.

"How was Rose?"

"Angry, upset with me."

"She isn't going to reveal us, is she?"

"No, I got her to somewhat understand."

"Good." Either he didn't hear what I said or is desperately trying not to push it. "What do you have there?"

"My sketchbook. Leia gave it to me and the pencils."

"You draw?"

"Yes, I do."

"May I see?"

"Am I floating?" He shakes his head. "Then sit down."

We flip through, page by page, looking at the different portraits I've drawn of every person in the Resistance.

"That's what she looks like now?" Ben asks once we reach a drawing of his mother.

"Yes." He lightly touches the drawing, copying it to his memory.

"Seven years is a long time."

"Ben." He quickly flips to the next page, a drawing of Rose and Finn. She's wearing Finn's jacket and they're curled up on a couch.

Poe in his helmet and flight suit.

BB8.

Chewbacca.

Porg.

Porg.

Porg.

Two porgs.

Han…Ben quickly flips the page on that one.

Porg.

BB8 and porg.

Threepio.

Lieutenant Connix.

Kylo Ren with his mask.

"Why?"

"I don't know." He flips to the next page and sees a drawing of his actual face before I sliced it up.

"Not accurate anymore."

"Then I should draw another one." I take the book from him and flip to the next blank page. "Look at me."

We sit like that for an hour with him staring intently at me as I sketch his image on paper.

"Where did you get that paper?"

"Your mother." When Leia gave it to me she told me how rare the material is. Hardly anyone uses paper anymore, but she had an empty book that she gave to me when she found out that I enjoy sketching. "I'm not going to use it," she said.

"Were there pages ripped out of the front?" What?

"Uh..." I flip to the front of the book to see that several pages are indeed ripped out. "Yeah, there are some. Why?"

"I recognized it."

"Was it yours?" Thankfully, he hasn't moved, just his lips.

"Yes, it was."

"What did you put in it?" I shift to get a better look at the scar I gave him.

"It doesn't matter."

"It does now that you insist that it doesn't."

"Writing."

"Writing about what?" I shift again, moving closer to him.

"Things."

"What sort of things?" I move even closer, but he doesn't move.

"Rey..." He sighs.

"If it's too personal, you don't have to tell me."

"They were Jedi notes." Oh...

"My handwriting is terrible," I admit. "It's barely legible by anyone that isn't me."

"It's impressive that you can write at all given where you grew up." Thanks. "I could help you if you want."

"Really?"

"Sure, why not?" He shrugs.

"I don't think that we exactly have time."

"Well, considering that you've finished drawing and are now just staring at me but haven't said anything because you don't want to stop, I would say that we have plenty of time." A blush breaks across my face. "Can I see it?"

I hand him the book, and he gazes at his own face. "I taught myself to draw on Jakku. I found a book in the wreckage of a starship. I didn't know how much paper was worth, so I kept it."

"I would draw you if I knew that I could do you justice." He looks up from the book and-

Force, he is his father's son.

The smirk that graces his features is nearly identical to the one his father often wore.

But his eyes, those dark, needy eyes, those are all Leia.

Eyes which are starting to disappear. 

The sketchbook flops next to me on the bed.


	7. Roommate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose has a few questions about this whole "Force Bond" thing.

"Why did Finn tell you?"

"I was confused as to why you would keep running off or panicked when I walked into the room. I knew that he knew why so I pestered him for a while. He didn't want to tell me, please don't get mad at him." Rose begs.

"I'm not mad at you or him, though I did tell him specifically not to tell you." I gave you one job, Finn.

"He's a terrible liar."

"That he is." He panics too much too easily.

"How did this happen?" Rose is wide-eyed. Ever since she learned about me being a Jedi, she's been determined to learn everything about it that she can. Sometimes it gets annoying, but sometimes it's nice if I'm confused about something she can offer another point of view, and sometimes just explaining things helps me find the root of the problem.

"We don't really know. The former Supreme Leader of the First Order, Snoke, claimed not long before his death that he had created it, but I don't believe him."

"Why not?"

"It persisted after his death, and he was...extremely manipulative of Ben. I believe that he was trying to take credit for it because he wanted to hold it above him. He wanted to play god." He wanted to take credit for the only good thing Ben had had in a long time. "But it doesn't matter now, we're connected, and Snoke is dead."

"How does it work? Like do you just hear each other or do you see each other?"

"We see each other and things we're holding, once we stop touching something, it disappears."

"Cool."

"Things can also be passed through the bond, I believe. Like yesterday we were looking through my notebook, and he was able to touch it."

"How do the communications happen?"

"We can trigger them, but normally it will just happen at random. He'll just appear wherever I am."

"So he just randomly appears in our room?" She looks around, concerned.

"Yes, but he cannot hear or see you, only me."

"It's still weird to think that he could just be here at any moment."

"Yeah, it is. The first time it happened I shot him." She laughs at that. "He was fine, obviously, we can't hurt each other through the bond."

"That's good, I guess."

"Yes, it is. Did Finn tell you our plan?"

"No, he just said that you have this weird bond thing that makes you communicate." She shrugs. "He didn't mention anything about a plan."

"Okay, well you might as well know. We're going to end this war."

"What? How?"

"By helping everyone see that peace and truth do not lie on one side or the other, but a balance of both." I sigh and divulge in her the complete details of our plan.

"That could work." She admits after a long time. "He's Supreme Leader, he has the pull to make it happen on their end."

"And worst comes to worst I can convince those on our end." I don't want to do that, but I will if I must. "The General agrees with our plan and is helping us."

"That's why she knows that there is no planned attack." Rose starts connecting all of the dots between the strange things that have been occurring. "You're our intelligence."

"Yes, I am."

"This is so cool! It's like spy stuff!"

"You can't tell anyone, Rose. I know Finn told you and he shouldn't have, but no one else can know. The only ones allowed to know are you, Finn, Leia, Ben, and myself."

"I understand."

"Poe cannot know." He'd freak out and do a whole manner of impulsive things. While I respect him as a pilot, he's too eager for a fight and is often hot-headed.

"Yeah, that would not end well." She agrees. "You know what's weirdly one of the hardest things for me to believe in all of this?"

"What?" There's a lot of things that are hard to believe in this.

"That the fearsome Kylo Ren's real name is Ben."


	8. Strengthening

That movement better stop. I'm trying to sleep.

Wait.

What?

Rolling over I see Ben's bare, scarred back. Shit. Rose is still in here.

"Ben," I whisper. "Ben."

He mumbles and rolls over to face me but doesn't wake. I gently shake him, repeating his name until his eyes finally open. "Rey?"

"I guess it opened sometime last night." My fingers gently stroke his hair, pushing it out of his face. "What time is it for you?"

"Well, I'm currently on a ship. It's around 2:00."

"It's nearly sunrise here." I keep attempting to flatten this one piece of hair, but it's not cooperating. He kisses sloppily, sleepily. It's funny, seeing the mighty Kylo Ren half-asleep and completely out of it. I laugh slightly into his lips, prompting Rose to groan at me.

"I heard that." Dark eyes go from half-lidded to wide. "I heard her."

"What?"

"The bond must be growing stronger." He concludes. "I guess eventually I might be able to see your surroundings and other people."

"You might be able to see when you're floating."

"He's fucking here, isn't he?" Rose groans.

"I heard that, too." Ben groans.

"Did you hear that?" I ask Rose.

"Hear what?"

"He said something."

"Oh." She groans again, rolling over. "We still have an hour to sleep, be quiet."

"Ben." I attempt to whisper, continuing to attempt to fix his hair.

"That's not going to work, Rey." He yawns.

"I can't believe that you get bedhead." His hair is always so perfect.

"Believe it, this stuff's a nightmare in the mornings."

"It wouldn't be if you cut it." Not that I want him to, I like his hair.

"That's not going to happen." His tone becomes serious.

"Why not?" It's just hair.

"Let's just say that I keep it long for a reason."

"And what reason is that?"

"To cover my ears, alright?" His face starts turning red. "They're huge, and I hate them."

"I don't see any problems with your ears." I push his hair back so that I can see one of them now tinged pink.

"You didn't see me when I was younger." He groans. "They were worse then."

"Well, while I don't see any problems with your ears, I like your hair too much anyways to let you cut it."

"Shut up!" Rose groans.

-oOo-

"Leia."

"Is something wrong, Rey?"

"The bond is strengthening. He's starting to hear stuff people say around me."

"That's interesting." She looks into the distance concerned. "I trust you, Rey, never forget that."

"You want me to stop coming to meetings, don't you?" It makes sense. I may trust Ben, but...the risk is too great. If the bond strengthened to where others around him could hear us it would all be over.

"I'm sorry."

"No, no, I understand." I should've kept my mouth shut. "I wish Master Luke were here."

"He would not have been able to help you, but...there is someone who could. Rey, did Luke ever tell you about his masters?"

"No." He barely mentioned anything.

"Luke was trained first by Obi-Wan Kenobi, a Jedi who watched over him as he grew up. I named my son after him. On Tatooine he was called Ben, the Jedi who were not killed had to go into hiding. After Ben died, he was trained by Yoda. Yoda eventually died as well, but the thing about Jedi...they're never truly gone."

"What?"

"Those who are one with the Force do not merely become a part of it, they are able to return as spirits to the world of the living."

"And you think that one of these spirits can help me?"

"That I do." She smiles. "I am unsure as to how you contact them, but I am sure that if you call out to them, they will come."

-oOo-

I sit outside on a ledge overlooking the landing pad, meditating. Maybe if I just call out enough, they'll notice me.

For nearly half an hour I simply meditate, and while it is necessary for a Jedi, I get absolutely nowhere.

"Ugh!" I snap out of my stance and slap the ground I'm sitting on.

"So, you're the girl that my grandson has gone crazy over."


	9. The Grandfather

"Who are you?" I snap around to see a surprisingly young man enrobed in a blue glow. He has lighter brown hair around his shoulders and a scar near his right eye.

"I feel as though I already answered that."

"Anakin Skywalker." I breathe.

"The one and only." He holds out his arms, showing himself off. I must admit that he is rather attractive, but he's also my boyfriend's dead, asshole grandfather.

"I...I wasn't calling for you." I state. I know who this man was. I know the stories of Darth Vader.

"No, but I can help you."

"How? Why?"

"Because this is  _my_  family and  _my_  mess that  _my_  descendants are still having to clean up." He moves to sit down next to me. "I caused this, let me fix it."

"You're Darth Vader, how am I supposed to trust you?" I spit at him.

"Because at this point, I'm your best bet. Obi-Wan and Yoda have agreed to let me handle this one." He seems rather proud of that.

"That isn't necessarily reassuring."

"Listen, Rey. My grandson loves you, and for some inexplicable reason you love him, too." I open my mouth to protest, but he stops me. "Don't bother, I know why. Now, Rey. I will tell you everything that I know about Force Bonds."

He goes into details about how they're formed, how they work, why they form, basically everything.

"In order to forge a bond, you must be a part of the bond."

"So Snoke was lying." He nods. "Thank goodness."

"The longer a bond exists, and the more it is used, the stronger the bond will become."

"How far will it go?"

"That depends on you and Ben, how far you want to take it." He sighs. "Is there anything else that you want to know?"

"How's Master Luke?"

"He's fine. He's peaceful. He is angry though that his ghost form is older than mine."

"Why are you so young?" He died like thirty years ago when his children were already grown. He should be at least forty.

"Because this was the last time that I was truly Anakin Skywalker. Even at my death, I was Vader. I was more machine than man." He flexes his hand to show me that its metal, like his son's.

"Your grandson worships you."

"Not anymore, he's found someone better to idolize." The sly smirk that crosses his face makes my cheeks burn. "Love is an incredible thing, Rey. It's a dangerous thing, I used to believe that love is what caused all of this. I turned to the dark side to save my wife but lost both her and my children in the process. To this day, my daughter has yet to forgive me, and she shouldn't. I'm wiser than I used to be, in death I know more than I would have ever hoped to know in life. I know now that love is not what caused my fall, it's just the excuse I used to justify what I did. I fell because of my own lust for power. A lust which caused me to kill my pregnant wife and so many more. Love couldn't save me, but it has saved him. His love for you saved him."

"But it did save you, your love for your son saved you."

"It was too late at that point. I also feel now that was more guilt than anything else. Love couldn't save me until everything had gone to shit. You've stopped him from getting to that point."

"Thank you, Anakin, for all of this."

"It's been a pleasure, Rey. Anytime you need advice, just call me."

"You should go to him."

"And do what? Rey, I told you, he doesn't idolize me anymore. He doesn't need my reassurance, he just needs yours."

-oOo-

"The First Order is coming. They've managed to track you, and I can't stop them. Get out of there, go. They'll be there in less than two hours." I run out of the room, leaving him standing there. I feel the bond close as I get closer to Leia's office.

"Leia, they're coming. We have two hours."

"Did he tell you?" I nod. Leia grabs her intercom and makes an announcement. "The First Order has located us, evacuation code 6679."

I run back out to grab my small bag of things and probably Rose's since she'll be evacuating machines and stuff. People are running up and down the halls of the base in a panic. I distinctly hear the roar of Chewbacca as I pass the hangar bay. It's a lot. I haven't really evacuated a base before. Okay, okay. What do I need?

Clothes.

Saber is on belt.

Sketchpad and pencils.

Toiletries.

Blanket.

Pillow.

Everything else is on the Falcon.

Thank the Force I don't need much. I grab Rose's emergency evacuation bag and stuff it full of anything else it can carry.

Gotta get to the Falcon. Even though we've been able to build up our fleet once again, the Falcon is still our main non-fighter ship. Anyone, not a pilot or too important to lose in a fight will go on the Falcon.

All around me people are pushing or pulling things, ready for the evacuation. I feel like I'm doing nothing, however, I was never really given a place in the Resistance. I'm the Jedi, the role model, the ideal. I'm not one of them. In the end, the fight against the First Order has never been my fight. I don't fit here. Leia, Rose, and Finn are the only ones I can really talk to. Not even the infamously charming Poe Dameron is someone I can converse easily with. He's just too ingrained in this fight. I don't know what he'll do once it's over.

"Chewy, the Falcon ready?" He roars back a reply. "Good, I'll go help, Leia."

I place the bags into my personal drawer in the Falcon before running to help the General.


	10. Reassurance

"General, the former base was destroyed by the First Order." Lieutenant Connix informs us. It's been nearly a week since the evacuation, however, we've been afraid to send/receive transmissions due to the Order being able to find us.

"Your feelings were right, Rey." We made the decision to attribute any and all information Ben gives me to the Force. No one else really knows how it works, so they believe us. It also gives everyone more faith in me, so that when the time comes, they will trust me about Ben.

"That they were." I smile.

"Please come with me, I need to speak with you on a private matter." I follow her to her new office, it's set up just like her old one, with an old, wooden desk and a holo of her, Han, and young Ben. I love that holo. It's of the three of them laughing and smiling. Ben was right about his ears, though. "I have a shortcoming of mine to admit to you."

Shortcoming? Leia, as far as I can tell, you have never done anything wrong.

"I have not fully trusted you, well not fully trusted Ben and his information given to me by you. I've been afraid that he was using our love for him against us. I thought that he was manipulating you and me. However, he's proven to be true. We were sitting Ewoks at that base, they would have destroyed us instantly. I am sorry for not believing you."

"No, you were right. You were right to not trust him. After so many years of darkness, it's kind of hard to believe in the light."

"Hope is like the sun, if you only believe in it when you see it, you'll never make it through the night."

-oOo-

"How much longer, Ben?" I groan. "I'm ready to be done with this war."

"I don't know." He runs his fingers through my hair, it seems that one of the best decisions I've made in a while is to wear it down. "It's a long process, ending years and years of hate."

"I don't have a roommate anymore," I inform him. "Rose and I decided that if this bond is strengthening, then she probably shouldn't be in here."

"So we don't have to worry about that anymore." He smirks before nipping at my neck.

"No, we don't." I agree, tilting my head to give him better access to my neck.

"Do we have to discuss the war today? Can't we just be happy for a little while?" Dark eyes plead with me.

"Please." I know that we shouldn't, but I want to. He moves to kiss me, but I place my fingers on his lips to stop him. He looks so bewildered and sad. "But first I have something to tell you."

"Fine." He pouts. Trust me, Ben, you'll want to hear this.

Reassurance.

Okay.

Here I go, Anakin.

"I'm proud of you, Ben. I know that none of this can be easy for you, but you're doing it anyway. You're doing the right thing, and I couldn't be more grateful. Without you, I don't know if we ever would be able to end this war. I want you to come home, but I know that you can't, I know that what you're doing is too important." I hold his jaw in one hand while the other runs through his hair. "You're what's going to end this war. I'm proud of you for making the right decision, and I can't wait until we get to after. I...I love you, Ben."

He moves quickly, pressing his lips to mine and pushing me backward. He repeats the phrase "I love you" between every kiss. His lips move from my lips to my cheek and nose to my neck and shoulder to my arm. Okay, he's going to have to stop talking. I pull his face away from my skin and look him in the eye. He repeats the phrase several times, getting faster and faster, before just staring at me happily. The slight tilt of his lips, rosy color to his cheeks, and sparkle in his eye might just be the most incredible thing that I've ever seen.

"Ben."

"Rey." He smiles, he actually smiles. The only thing that could make this better is if it were real.

"I want to meet with you, soon."

"We will, I promise." He gently runs his fingers through my thin hair. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too." His kisses become gentle, savoring our time alone and newly revealed feelings. It isn't necessarily sexual, but more tender and kind. A promise of love and devotion more than sex.

-oOo-

"You did well," Anakin informs me. "You gave him a reason to continue with this. He's felt conflicted recently, thinking that you might just be using him as a means to an end. He was worried that you were using his love as a tool."

Just like Leia.

"Is he still conflicted?"

"No." Good.

"I'm glad."

"So am I. I've waited a long time for this, Rey. Ever since my death, I have been hoping for the happiness of my family. Now, thanks to you, we can have it." He places his hand on my shoulder. "You and Ben are going to finish what I started. I was prophesied to bring balance to the Force, I failed. Luke failed. You and Ben won't fail. You'll do it together, and you will succeed."

"Are you sure? Did you have a vision?"

"No, but I have something better, hope."


	11. Saber

_Connect the sien wire to the front screw._

Okay, sien wire to the front screw.

"That's not the right one." I jump about a foot in the air.

"Kriff, Anakin." I hate when he does that.

"You're finally building yourself a new lightsaber, certainly took long enough."

"Yeah, it took a while to get the right materials. I'm sorry about your last one." I cringe at the memory.

"I have no use for it." He waves his hand. "That's an interesting hilt."

"I found in here the design for a double-bladed saber, and since I now have two crystals, I thought that it would work."

"Oh, Obi-Wan's gonna hate that." He laughs.

"Why?" Anakin suddenly sobers.

"Because the Sith who killed his master wielded a two-bladed saber." Oh. "It doesn't matter. But that's the cronique wire, not the sien. I went through a lot of lightsabers, trust me. You do realize that your blade isn't going to be stable. It's going to be like Ben's. That's why he has the cross-guards, they're kind of like exhaust. If you don't have something like that, it could explode."

"I don't have another crystal."

"When you reach this point in your training, you generally go on a sort of pilgrimage with your master, and one will find you."

"Where do I go?"

"Well, most places with Kyber Crystals have been destroyed or stripped of all crystals. The closest place is the planet of Starish."

"I don't have a Master." Luke's dead.

"Frankly, I'm slightly offended, but technically you're right." Anakin, you've helped me with Force stuff like twice. "You don't have a living Master, but you do have a Force-counterpart."

"Ben."

"Go have a nice vacation with your boyfriend." He smirks. "Make sure to use protection, war is a bad time for kids, trust me."

"Anakin!" Kriff! An older Force ghost appears before me. What? Why? "You should not encourage that sort of behavior, they have responsibilities to fulfill."

"Who are you?" I exclaim.

"I'm sorry, I should not have been so rude. I am Obi-Wan Kenobi, otherwise known as Ben. I trained Anakin here and Luke for a very short amount of time." Okay, Obi-Wan. "It is very nice to finally meet you, Rey."

"You as well." Two ghosts. Two ghosts.

"Did I say anything else wrong, Master?"

"No, otherwise you were fine."

-oOo-

"I need to go to Starish."

"You need a new crystal." Ben assumes.

"Yes, I have worried about the stability of using the old one."

"I understand, I was also concerned." He turns his own saber over in his hands. "Why are you telling me?"

"I have no Master."

"And you need someone who knows what they're doing."

"And I want to see you," I add.

"When?"

"Whenever you can. I have no real time constraints."

"I'll see and tell you later tonight."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." He sits down next to me. "How's the plan going?"

"It's going to be difficult to convince them that you shouldn't be executed."

"There is that." He rests his forearms on his thighs and stares at his hands. "What are you going to do with the old crystal?"

"I don't know. I'll figure something out."

A knock sounds from the door. "Rey?"

Ben presses his lips to my cheek before disappearing. "I love you."

"Come in."

"Hey, wanna come to dinner?" Rose sticks her head in.

"Yeah, sure."

-oOo-

**Eight Days Later**

"Rey!" Ben calls as soon as my ship lands.

"Ben." I jump out of the cockpit and dash over to him.

"How was your flight? Are you alright?" He wraps his long arms around me and pulls me into his chest.

"Yes and yes. How about you?"

"I'm fine." He assured me.

"Good. I've been so worried recently. I've been worried about Hux finding out or Poe."

"Ah yes, how is my mother's replacement for me?"

"She didn't replace you," I argue. "You're her son, no one can replace you."

"That isn't how it seems to me."

"Well, you're not there, amongst them. Every day of seems that she loses faith in him. He's trigger happy and impulsive, more people have died than necessary because of him."

This is not how I planned on today going.

"Ben, she keeps a holo of you on her desk. Every day she asks me if you're okay if I think that you're eating well and sleeping. You are still her son, no matter what, and she still loves you." Please. "Let's not talk about this right now, please?"

"Fine."

"Ben." Nut fingers run through the front of his hair before resting on his cheek.

"Can you say it now?" He looks expectant.

"I love you, Ben." If I thought that he had pushed hard into me last time, I was gravely mistaken. The only thing keeping me from falling over is him holding me up. Kind of strange, but I'm not lying on the ground, so that's a plus. Laughter escapes me at his dramatics. "Ben!"

"What?"

"Put me down, we came here for a reason." I remind him. He gently places me back on my feet, stealing another kiss. "Where are the crystals?"

"This way." He takes my hand and starts leading me towards wherever the crystals are. "I made sure that we weren't landing too far away."

"Good." I revel in the feeling of his hand, his real hand, in mine. It's been so long. "How long can you stay?"

"I'm Supreme Leader, I can do whatever I want." He smirks at me. "What about you?"

"Leia gave me as long as I need."

"Good." His legs are too long, his steps too big, for my average-sized self. I have to walk very quickly. "Do you have everything else for your saber prepared?"

"Yes, I do." It's in my bag. "I actually need two crystals."

"Why?"

"I'm making a two-blade saber."

"So you can use it like your staff?"

"That and my original plan was to use the two pieces of the old crystal." Glad Anakin talked me out of that.

"Ah." He stops at a wall. "Here we are."

"What?"

"You need to look beyond what you can see with your eyes." Oh. It's one of those things. He steps behind me, wraps his left arm around my waist, and leans in close to my ear. "Close your eyes."

I'm pretty sure that this is not how the old Jedi Masters did it. He gently takes my right hand in his, stretches them forwards, and starts walking us towards the wall, his chest on my back. Eventually, my hand meets the stone wall. Ben? Are you sure about- the wall disappears beneath my palm.

"Keep them closed." He orders quickly before continuing to force us forward. His right arm joins his left around my waist. Once we're fully inside he whisper, "Open them."

Kyber Crystals in all shapes and sizes and colors are arranged into an ornate shrine of sorts The walls are lined with uncolored crystals. Light from an unknown source hits them at just the right angle to create rainbows of color all around us. "It's beautiful."

"The colored ones have already been used in sabers. when a saber is constructed, the crystal takes on the color that best reflects the relationship between the builder and the Force." He steps away from me and starts pointing at different colors and explaining what each means. You know, he does make a great teacher. I knew this already thanks to the books, but seeing him so excited to teach me leaves me incapable of informing him of that.

"Why are there red crystals here?" This is supposed to be for the Jedi, right?

"This cave does not belong to the Jedi, nor to the Sith. It is an entity unto itself in the Force, it is at balance. When a Force-user dies, often their crystal would be brought to one of these shrines." He takes my hand. Balance.

 _Kira_.

Kira?

_Kira._

I turn toward the voice then look back at Ben. He's smiling at me.

_Kira._

Okay, voice. Let's see where this goes. Ben's hand releases mine as I walk towards the voice. A pair of identical crystals start glowing as I near them. Okay, the Force knows. I slowly raise my hands and hover them above the crystals. I turn to Ben who simply nods to me. Okay. Okay. Breathe. I swallow before touching the crystals.

Light blinds me. I feel everything in me rushing towards the crystals in my hands. every moment of my life has been judged. Then, nothing.

I open my eyes to see two bright blue Kyber Crystals in my hands.

"That's what I thought." I turn to Ben, he seems pleased. "You are much more of a warrior than a scholar."

"Now what?"

"Now, we sit." He sits on the ground, and I sit across from him. "Take your saber."

I lay out the various pieces in front of us in order. I then place the crystals in their place.

"Now, you construct your saber."

Okay.

Breathe.

I concentrate on raising each piece of the saber. I can't see them, but I can sense them rising. I can sense everything: Ben, his saber, the cave, every individual crystal, everything.

Connect the casing to the crystal.

Connect the wiring to the casings.

Wiring to the Outer Casing.

Outer casing to the outer casing.

"Hah!" My eyes fly open, my hand flies out to grab the saber, and it ignites. The long saber runs parallel to the line between my knees. The blue glow reflects off of Ben's smiling face.

"Incredible." He murmurs. "Truly incredible, Rey."

"My name isn't Rey," I admit, I guess.

"What?"

"Kira. My name is Kira."

"Kira?"

"I...I forgot my own name." I turn the saber off and place it in my lap. "I forgot my own name and gave myself another."

"You were young when your parents left you. Your coping mechanism was strong." I forgot my own name. "Rey?"


	12. Kira

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey discuss her past and their future.

"I'm fine." I lie.

"No, you're not." He takes ahold of my hands. "Don't lie to me."

"What else have I forgotten, Ben?"

"No one remembers being that young, I barely remember anything before the age of eleven, honestly."

"But what else have I blocked out? Should I go by Kira now that I know the truth? Why did I change my name? When did I change it?"

"Rey!" I look up from my hands to his dark eyes. "Kira may have been your birth name, but Rey is who you are, who you have worked to become. You're Rey the Jedi, the pilot, the scavenger, the hero. Do you truly want anything that those monsters gave you?"

"No."

"Then you're still Rey. This revelation doesn't change who you are. You're still the same person who stole a ship off of Jakku just because you wanted to help a droid. You're still the woman who went to an island to be trained by a man who you didn't know existed in blind faith. You're still the person who would face an army to save the ones they love. You're still the one who was able to see the goodness in a monster."

"Ben." What if I did something terrible and simply blocked it out? What else have I forgotten? Okay. Okay. Kira. Kira. I am Kira. No, I was Kira. I am Rey. Rey is the name of a warrior. Kira is the name of a scared little girl left sold off by her family. I am not that girl anymore. I have not been that girl since I left Jakku. Since I let go of my parents, I have lost all traces of Kira.

"Am I wrong? Have you suddenly become a different person because of this?"

"No."

"Then it doesn't matter. You're still Rey, the woman I fell in love with. The woman who gave me this scar on an imploding planet. You're still the one who kicked my ass on Starkiller despite never holding a lightsaber before in your life. You're still the woman I risked everything for and am risking everything for again." He touches his forehead to mine, speaking barely above a whisper.

"And the Resistance thanks you for it, though they don't know it yet."

"If you must thank me, do it for yourself alone. The Resistance owes me nothing, as much as I want to see this war end without their destruction, I do it only for you." He takes the two pieces of crystal in his hand and holds them between us. "Only for you."

"And your mother," I add.

"And my mother." He chuckles. "I'm trying to be romantic, Rey, don't bring up my mom."

"Well, I'm going to. About a week ago, she brought some things to my attention, specifically figuring out what we're going to do in the After."

"And what precisely did she call to your attention?"

"What are we going to be, Ben? When all of this is over? I'm not talking about Jedi or leaders or politicians. What are we going to be together?"

"What do you want us to be?"

"I don't know. I don't know all of the levels of romantic partner. On Jakku there were none. Only idiots were dumb enough to conduct any behavior which could result in children." Ahem.

"Well, each culture has different viewpoints and levels of romantic partner. However, I feel as though this isn't a conversation that we should have in a sacred place. Let's go back to my ship."

-oOo-

"So, what exactly are we right now?"

"I don't think that a culture in any galaxy has an accurate title for what we are." He's probably right. I am relatively certain that a situation like ours has never occurred before. " I guess this all depends on what do you want to do After."

"I don't know. I want to have a peaceful life...with those I love." My eyes stay trained on our hands joined between us. "However, as the last Jedi, I have certain responsibilities."

"You feel that you need to train a new generation."

"I do." I nod. "I can't let it die. Would you join me?"

"I'm not a Jedi, Rey." Yes, I know.

"But isn't our goal with all of this creating balance? A balance between the Resistance and First Order. A balance between the light and the dark."

"A Gray Force User Academy."

"The Jedi but without the constraints on emotions and attachments."

"The old Jedi would murder you for thoughts like that." He laughs.

"They would murder me for even speaking with you let alone everything else we've done and become."

"You're a terrible Jedi."

"And you're a terrible Dark Lord." I snap back.

"Yes, I am." He smirks. "Where will we build our academy?"

"I don't know, somewhere green and happy."

"It will take a while to build, hopefully, we'll be able to hire some help. We'll have to recruit students. I can't take children away from their families. I never wanted the Stormtroopers to be this way, that was all Hux. I swear."

"I believe you."

"This is going to take a lot of planning. There's also the issues of resources once we get it up and running. Do we grow our own food? We'll have to establish a tuition in order to do anything. We'll be establishing new teachings and have to figure those out. We're going to be old by the time we can do this."

"I have the ancient Jedi texts," I admit. "I stole them from Luke's library on Ahch-To."

"Well, that's a starting point for the curriculum. I'll see what I can dig out of the archives. How about, when all of this is over, you and I got scouting for somewhere to build our academy? We can travel planet to planet until we find the perfect spot. I can think of a few planets that you might like." He seems so engrossed in our joined hands as if he can't believe that they're real.

"I would like that."

-oOo-

We stayed up late into the night, discussing our imaginary Gray Jedi Academy.

How many students would we have at a time?

Would we ask our fully trained students to teach alongside us?

What age would we start training them?

What classes would we teach?

How would we find students?

According to his clock, it was the start of a new day cycle before we fell asleep.

"Good morning." He yawns.

"Good morning." I nuzzle my nose into his neck. "We'll have to leave soon."

"I don't want to." He complains.

"We can't just stay here forever."

"Why not?" He groans.

"Ben."

"I know." He brushes few stray hairs from my face. "Come on, let's see if that new lightsaber of yours is any good."

We stand in the clearing outside of his ship, sabers ignited and ready. He twirls and spins his saber a few times, adjusting his grip and showing off. "Ready?"

"Hell yes." He lunges at me, at my side. It's an easy catch with my saber, pushing him backward.

"You're holding back." I know how he fights, all spins and dramatics.

"I'm warming up." He pushes me back again before swinging at me again. There he is.

Now, this is a fight. Swing after swing, turn after turn, slash after slash. It's perhaps not as intense as our previous battle, but our aim is not to harm each other.

"You've gotten better." He smiles.

"I'm fighting the way I've fought my entire life."

"Not very refined." Excuse you. "You're a lot scrappier than any trained fighter."

"I haven't had anyone train me." I remind him. He spins and locks sabers with me.

"It's harder to fight against you because of this. I can fight anyone trained in any style, but you, you're unpredictable. You have no pattern for me to exploit."

"Good."

-oOo-

"Rey?"

"Yes?" It's dark now, so we've gone to bed. We're going back tomorrow lest our activities come under suspicion.

"We've spoken at length about this Academy we're going to build, but we haven't discussed one very important, well I hope it's very important, element of our future."

"And what's that?" I prop my chin upon his bare chest to look him in the eye.

"Us." He replies simply. "What are we going to be? We talked about the Academy with this certainty that we are going to do this together, that we are going to be together. Are we?"

"I hope so. I think so."

"Good. Good." A dumb grin breaks across his face.

"Is this your second attempt at a proposal? Because even though it's better than the last one, it's still not very good." His face turns as red as a tola fruit. He starts sputtering out that no, he wasn't trying to propose, but doesn't deny that he did it before.

"Wait, I thought you didn't know about all that stuff?"

"Rose is a romantic. She's made me tell her everything since she found out about us. She said that your proposal sounded like the one from an old story that her sister told her."

"Oh." He's still red.

"She promised me that the second one would be better," I say pointedly. "Will it be?"

"Yes." My stomach hurts from my attempts at suppressing my laughter.

"So, there's going to be a second one?"

"Do you want there to be?" Ben, Ben, start using your brain. Yes, I want there to be.

"Yes."

"Then I swear it will be better."

"It better be. Don't insult me again." I chide.

"I wasn't trying to insult you!" 

"You literally told me that I was nothing."

"But not to me!" He throws his arms up in defense.

"You still called me nothing!"

"But to me you're everything."

"Why didn't you say that eight months ago?" I'm trying to keep myself from laughing.

"I was stressed, Rey! It had been a long day! I am not good at this sort of thing!"

"You're fine now." You've said plenty of things today and yesterday that proved you're at least decent with your words and expressing your feelings.

"That's because I've had eight months to plan things and figure stuff out. Most things I've said and done have not been on a whim, Rey. I have to think this shit through or I fuck it up!" Yeah. "I promise I'll do better next time, alright?"

"Alright."

"Good."

"Good talk before bed."

-oOo-

"Be safe." Please.

"I will be. I promise." He twists his fingers through the cord around my neck.

"This will all be over soon, and then you can take me around the galaxy."

"And then I'll take you around the galaxy." He smiles. "I can't wait until we get to the After even if it's just so that I can see you every day and it be real."

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Rey." He presses his lips to mine, and the planet feels like it stops moving. "See you soon."

He helps me into my ship, grabbing to my hip to make sure I don't fall. Well, grabbing to my hip while using the excuse of making sure I don't fall. Once I'm firmly seated he steps up on the ladder and kisses me again. If he's this incorrigible now, how is he going to be when we actually have time together? "This will all be over soon."

I don't know how many times I've said that, but I'll keep saying it until it's true.

"Please, please, be safe."

"I will." My fingers lightly stroke his cheek before pulling his lips towards mine again. Okay, I'm incorrigible, too.

"Kriff, I forgot something. Wait here." Okay. He jogs over to his shuttle, and about thirty seconds later is jogging back out, holding something.

"You remembered."

"You think I would forget?" He steps on the bottom rung of the ladder and hands me the small potted flower.


	13. Negotiations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey returns to the Resistance and has a lot to do.

"Okay, let's see the new lightsaber," Finn says once we've brought my things back to my room. Apparently, Finn, Rose, and Poe were all necessary to carry my stuff. Finn and Rose I don't mind, but Poe…as charming as he can be, he would also be the first to turn on me if knowledge about my connection to Ben-not even the romantic feelings, just the Force Bond which we didn't create-became public knowledge.

"Okay, stand back." I take the saber off my belt and check to make sure I won't break anything. Okay, I ignite the two ends and watch as they stare at me amazed.

"Wow!" Rose gasps. "That's so cool!"

"You did a great job, Rey." Finn carefully takes the hilt from my hands and looks at it.

"Is that the old crystal? Around your neck?" Kriff.

"Oh, yes." I grab the necklace.

"Aren't there two pieces, where's the other?"

"When all of this is over, I'm going to take it back to Ahch-To, leave it with Master Luke." I lie through my teeth. "Before I had it, it was his saber and his father's before him."

"That's nice." Thank Force.

"I just hope that the caretakers did something with his body, so I have somewhere to leave it."

"I'm sure they did." Poe, he doesn't have a body. The books told me that when a Jedi who was truly one with the Force dies, their body disappears. "Kylo Ren's not gonna know what's coming to him when you show up with that."

"I still have one less blade than him." Thank you. I take back my saber and turn it off.

"Eh, it won't matter. You'll still kick his ass. You kicked his ass with one."

"Yeah." I force myself to laugh. Rose and Finn are trying desperately not to laugh for a very different reason.

-oOo-

"This academy sounds like a great idea." Leia nods. "The idea of it makes me happy."

"Us, too."

"So he wants no part in politics once this is over?"

"Not as far as I can tell." I shrug.

"And neither do you?"

"No." Of that much I am certain.

"Okay. We need to start actually planning out the negotiations, what we're willing to back down on and what we're not." Yeah, we've probably put it off long enough.

"Do you want me to contact Ben?"

"That would probably be best. How strong has it gotten?"

"Last time we checked he could hear those around me."

"Can I hear him?"

"Maybe now, it's been a while since anyone was in the room when one of these happened."

"Alright, let's see."

_Ben._

"Rey."

"We need to talk to you about the negotiations."

"We?" Okay, he can't see her.

"Ben."

"Mom?" His eyes widen, and I feel the shock reverberate through our bond. Tears gather in the corners of Leia's eye. This is the first time they've spoken in who knows how long, the first time she's hearing his voice. The first time anyone has called her "mom".

"Yes, Ben." So she can hear him. "This is rather odd, just hearing your disembodied voice."

"This is true." Ben nods before sitting. They both clearly try to steel themselves, to not let this sort-of reunion distract them from the task at hand, but their emotions are overwhelming. So much regret, but also hope and love fiercer than almost any that I have encountered.

"Alright, so the negotiations. This makes things much easier. When this war is over, I propose that we start another Republic, a Democracy. A system where each planet elects their own leaders and those leaders together elect moderators. These moderators will do just that, moderate the different groups. We've seen what can happen when we give all that power to one man, and I refuse to let it happen again."

"Agreed." Somewhat ironic, Supreme Leader. "I've been thinking about how exactly we're going to project this to the rest of the galaxy. After all, I am a War Criminal. No one will want to listen to me. So, I suggest that we sell this as a Resistance victory instead of a truce."

"You're not going to be charged, Ben. Your General Hux on the other hand-" I start.

"Oh, do whatever the hell you like to Hux. I have no issue seeing terrible things happen to him."

"You did say that the Stormtroopers being children ripped from their families at birth was his idea."

"I suggested a clone army or even a droid army several times."

"Is there any way to return the troopers to their families?" Finn has asked me to try and help those troopers, if I can that is.

"We have the records on every single one of them, yes. We know who and where their families are." He nods. "We can provide them with the information and transportation at least to the planet."

"Back to the subject of punishment for crimes." Leia interrupts. "There is no way that General Hux will be able to avoid a trial and more than likely execution by the new government. However, Ben, you have been working for months to dismantle the First Order from the inside and bring about an end to the war. You have been working closely with Jedi Master Rey, the last Jedi, to bring peace to the galaxy."

"It was also your idea," I add. "Surely we'll be able to grant you a pardon because of all of that."

"I am quite sure that we will be able to." Leia agrees.


	14. A Change in Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fate enjoys throwing a wrench into things.

**One Month Later**

"How's not having a roommate going?" Rose asks over supper. Rose, we haven't lived together in months.

"Fine. How about you?" Please don't.

"Oh, it's fine. Any more early-morning meetings?" Her eyebrows waggle, and her elbow nudges my side.

"A few." I glare at her.

"That's nice."

"Why?" Why do you want to know?

"Just curious." She assures me. "It's still weird to me."

"What's weird?" Poe takes the seat across from me.

"A girl thing," Rose says quickly. "And I doubt that you would want to know about it."

"You're probably right." Yeah.

"How was your mission?" Poe just got back today from a supply run in the Outer Rim.

"It went fine. You guys can keep a secret, right?" We all nod. "I'm going to tell you guys something, but you have to promise not to breathe a word of it to anyone."

"Okay." Finn nods. "What's up?"

"I haven't told the General yet, but one of my old buddies in the Outer Rim told me that an anonymous First Order officer had been looking for an assassin."

"For the general?"

"No, for Kylo Ren." I drop my fork.

"Rey?" Everyone stares at me, Rose and Finn with more worry than confusion.

"Sorry, just didn't expect that." Kriff. I gotta warn Ben.

"I know, right? I guess they're not all that happy with his leadership." Poe smirks. "This could end the war. If he's gone thanks to a coup, then the First Order could dissolve into chaos. With no stable leader, they would implode from the inside."

"I'm sorry if you'll excuse me." I take my plate, dump it in the cleaning droid's bin, and run. I gotta tell Ben, I gotta tell Leia, I... I need to go to my room. He can't die. He can't. Kriff.

_Ben_.

"Rey?"

"Ben, someone's hired an assassin. An officer in the First Order has hired an assassin to kill you." I grab to his tunic, fisting the fabric in my hands. He gently rests his palms on my shoulders and ducks down slightly so he can see my eyes.

"How do you know?"

"Poe has a friend in the Outer Rim who heard about an anonymous officer hiring an assassin to kill you." I try to keep my voice at a moderately slow pace so he can understand my words, but kriff is it hard.

"To be perfectly honest, I don't doubt it. I also feel that this officer is not very anonymous."

"Hux." He nods. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet."

"You have to do something! What if they succeed? What if they-"

"Rey!" I snap out of my panic. "Let me worry about that, you worry about the Resistance. Everything will be alright, I promise."

"You can't die." I clutch his tunic again.

"And I won't." He runs his fingers through my hair. "Trust me. I've survived plenty of things that should have killed me before, I can survive this."

"If something happens to you, then nevermind me, everything we've worked for will be over. The war will never end until one side is completely destroyed. There will never be balance."

"I think that we should move up our plans." He admits. "We have to end this, soon."

"Some members of the Resistance are going to be happy about this." Poe certainly is. "They'll want the assassin to succeed."

"And logically, they should. I'm not a good man, Rey."

"No, you're not, but you're becoming a great one."

-oOo-

"General, this is great news! The First Order will dissolve into chaos, and the war will be over." Poe exclaims, he's jovial. I feel sick to my stomach.

"And you believe that no one will take Kylo Ren's place once he's dead? The war didn't end with the death of Snoke. They have a chain of command just like we do. General Hux will take Kylo Ren's place, and I know that things will only get worse. Since Kylo Ren took over, there have been fewer attacks on us than ever before. General Hux will be merciless in comparison."

"So what are you saying? That we stop the assassin from killing our greatest enemy?" Poe gapes.

"I'm saying that we need to think this through, think to how this could affect us in the future. Think like a leader."

"And do what? We're nothing, Leia. We have nothing, we have no way to win this war! Our only hope is that they destroy themselves, and this is how they could do it."

"General Organa!" Lieutenant Connix runs in. "The First Order has requested to make contact with you."

"Who in the Order?" Poe barks.

"The Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren."


	15. A Revelation

"An incoming message from the Supreme Leader of the First Order, Kylo Ren. Do you wish to accept?" Threepio asks as we enter the bridge. Everyone on the bridge looks deathly pale, afraid of what this contact could mean.

"Yes, put him through." Ben's holographic form stands before us, cape billowing, and hair perfect. Do they have a fan? Do they have a fan specifically positioned to blow his hair and cape dramatically? Probably. Skywalkers and Solos are a dramatic people.

"Kylo Ren." Leia looks at her son for the first time in years, but her expression is as schooled and calm as ever. Her emotions are flaring everywhere, she's projecting hard enough that I can feel her every emotion.

"General Organa." Ben nods. "Jedi Master Rey."

"Kylo Ren." It's been so long since I've said that name that it tastes strange on my tongue.

"I wish to request an audience with the Resistance to negotiate the end of this petty conflict. My men and I will come unarmed if you swear to do the same." He holds his right wrist in his left hand and stands as straight as he can. 

"How are we supposed to believe you?" Poe barks. Poe...

"If I allow Jedi Master Rey to come with her saber, will you be satisfied?" Ben rolls his eyes. It must be nice, not having to hide your contempt for anyone and everyone around you. "Though in order to make that fair, I would be allowed my saber as well."

"We will come unarmed, as will you," Leia interjects, glaring at Poe. "When and where will we be meeting?"

"I have elected to allow you to choose the location and time in order to give you another reason to trust me." He looks directly at Poe.

"At the Koronoke Field on Tyvar in three weeks to the day at 0800, standard." Leia answers without hesitation. "Does that work for you?"

"I am sure that it does." Ben nods. "We will meet then and there." He bows his head slightly.

Then he disappears.

"General Organa, you can't be serious?" Poe yells. "We can't negotiate with  _him_."

"I am the General of this Resistance, and you will trust my judgment, Dameron. This war has gone on long enough, we've lost enough men, if we have any hope of negotiations, we have to take them."

"We're going to be armed, right?"

"No. We made a promise, we are going to keep that promise."

"What?" Poe, please stop.

"I am a woman of my word, Dameron."

"They could ambush us, they could just not care about the agreement and wipe us all out." Poe wildly throws his arms around.

"Why do you believe that I chose the Koronoke Field on Tyvar?"

"I don't know."

"Tyvar does not allow weapons before you can entire the atmosphere your entire ship and crew must be searched. The Koronoke Field is wide and open with nothing for ambushers to hide behind."

"I still don't trust them." Well, no, Poe. We didn't expect you, too.

"Don't trust them for all I care." Leia takes her seat. "I just need you all to trust Rey and myself."

"Rey, you can't seriously believe this."

"I do," I admit. "I believe him."

"Have you all gone mad?" He yells, arms thrown in the air. "He's Kylo Ren, he tortured us both, he's killed so many people. Why do you believe him?"

I look over at Leia who gives me a brief nod. "I have something to admit to all of you." The entire Resistance piled in here when they heard who was trying to communicate with us. "Over the past few months, I have been working with Kylo Ren to end this war. He has been working from inside the First Order to dismantle it and open everyone's minds to the idea of negotiations. He has halted the abduction of more children for the Stormtrooper program, he has blatantly refused to launch an attack on us, when the First Order was coming to destroy our former base he warned me so that we could evacuate. He couldn't stop that attack, but he did save us from it. We owe him our lives."

Everyone stares at me in shock barring the three that knew.

"So, you're telling us that Kylo Ren's one of the good guys?" Lieutenant Connix gapes at me.

"No," We all turn to look at Leia, "But my son, Ben Solo, is."

All whispers that had been circulating cease as everyone gapes at Leia.

"Your son?" Poe gasps.

"Yes, my son, my only child." Leia remains the calm, sensible leader she's always been. "He's been working with Rey to save us all, and for that we are grateful."

-oOo-

"Rey." Ben wraps his arms around me, and I bury my face in his chest. "How's everyone taking it?"

"Poe's pissed." Ben snorts. "Finn and Rose are fine, but Finn and Rose knew. I don't really know about anyone else, they were all in shock when I left. How about on your end?"

"Hux is demanding that we break the promise of peace. He's insistent that we can force the Tyvarians to allow our weapons."

"Good luck to him." Tyvar has always been a planet of mandatory peace. For generations, warring sides have used it as a place of negotiation. "Oh, Leia and I told them."

"Probably a good idea, we need them to trust me."

"Hopefully in three weeks, they'll have settled down." Hopefully.

"In three weeks we'll be together."

"In three weeks we'll be to the After." And you can come home.

"We'll be to the After." He repeats, brushing my hair out of my face.

"And then we'll explore the galaxy."

"Together."

"Together." I pull his face down to mine and kiss him. He somehow pulls me closer to him and kisses me even more intensely. "In three weeks, this will be real."

"Three weeks cannot come soon enough." He kisses me again, pressing harder and harder into me.

"Ben." I groan as his lips move to my neck. "Not now. We have work to do."

"Friendly reminder that you kissed me first."

"I wasn't planning on this happening." I push lightly on his chest. He steals another kiss before backing away. "We have to finalize our plans."

"Fine." He groans, unhappy to have been stopped.

"Three weeks." I remind him.

"Three weeks."


	16. Looking Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and Rey discuss the future. Poe demands that Rey tell him about the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M NOT DEAD!  
> Y'all, it has been a month. I promise that I'll be updating more frequently soon, and I will be posting the next chapter of A Truth Universally Acknowledged within the next two weeks.   
> I've got a job now, so...that happened.

We have one week left until the negotiations on Tyvar. One week until all of this shit is over. The Resistance is currently working to clear out the base. Once this is all over, we won't have a use for it. Currently, Rose and I are sorting through scraps of electrical equipment. "So, what are you going to do once this is over?"

"I don't really know." Rose straightens out a wire before lying it in the pile. "What about you?"

"Ben and I are going to start a Gray Jedi Academy. When the war is over we're going to explore the galaxy, searching for somewhere to build it."

"Gray Jedi?"

"Not fully light, not fully dark. The Jedi code restricts its members from all forms of relationship, children are taken from their parents at a very young age and not allowed to see them, romantic relationships are not even to be considered. The Jedi are so devoid of emotion in order to 'suppress the darkness' that they're practically machines. However, the Darkside is not exactly good either. But, how we want to do this is have most of the moral code and ideas of the Jedi, just without the demonization of emotions."

"That sounds nice."

"You can come visit whenever you want, in fact, please come visit. I'm going to get lonely without my not-roomie."

"Would you guys need help building? I couldn't do much, but I am a mechanic, I can work on mechanical stuff." I've gathered that.

"I'm sure we would." I place three switches in the box.

"Well, then I have something to do." She smiles. "Any more personal reasons you're going to get rid of the restrictions on relationships?"

"You know the answer to that, Rose."

"So, it's official then?" Her grin turns from one of mild happiness to something that would be scary if it wasn't Rose.

"I guess."

"Did he do better this time?"

"He hasn't asked again."

"Why not?" She exclaims so loudly that people passing by stop and stare at us.

"Because reasons."

"Maybe he's planning something."

"Maybe." I shrug.

"You'll have to tell me."

"Alright, whatever." I shake my head before continuing my work.

"Has Finn told you what he's planning on doing?" What?

"No, why?"

"He hasn't told me either." Oh no, Rose.

"Maybe he's still trying to figure it out. All he's ever known is fighting either for the First Order or against it. Without the fight, who is he? It's going to take time for him to figure that out."

"I guess."

"I'm sure that wherever you go, he'll go, too. He loves you more than anything." Her face flushes. "And besides, then I'll have to keep you with me at the Academy, it guarantees both of my best friends will be there."

"We won't be of much use after it's built."

"Actually, Ben and I discussed having non-Force-related classes, teaching the students technical skills, piloting, things like that. Using the Force is great and all, but you need to know how to do other things."

"So, I could teach them, mechanics!" A happy grin spreads across her face.

"If you'd like to."

"I would, I really would."

"Hey, guys." Finn kisses Rose's cheek and sits on her other side. "What are you talking about?"

"What we're going to do after. What are you thinking about?" Answer our question from earlier.

"Well, General Organa told me that you guys decided to return the Troopers to their families. She wanted to know if I would help. The Troopers have all been brain-washed their entire lives to not think for themselves or do anything but follow orders. Since I successfully defected and was able to move past their brain-washing, I'm the best candidate for helping them."

"Do you see any issues with our plan?"

"I don't know how willing some of them will be. It will be hard to return the adults to families that they never knew, the kids will be easier. I think that we should give them an option, either they can be returned to their families or they can go off on their own."

"That's a good idea." I agree. I had hope for my parents returning, and if they had I'm sure I would have been ecstatic. However, I always knew they were out there and wanted them to come back, the Troopers haven't had that. They've never had the hope of returning to their families. I don't even know how many of them know that they really had families. What if their families don't want them? Oh, Force. Their families have probably moved on or are dead.

-oOo-

"Rey?" Kriff.

"Yes, Poe?"

"Can I speak to you for a minute?" This is gonna suck.

"Sure." I follow him into an empty meeting room.

"Why didn't you tell us? Why did you keep your plan a secret?"

"Would you have trusted me if I had told you? As far as most of you are concerned, he's irredeemable. You would've kicked me out of the Resistance in a millisecond." You personally would have. "Besides, when you're a part of a top-secret mission which involves a spy, you don't make it common knowledge."

"Finn and Rose seemed rather calm."

"Finn is my best friend, I couldn't betray him like that."

"And Rose?"

"Finn told her, but no one else. I trust them."

"But not me."

"When have you given me a reason to? Poe, I know the stories about you. I know how you lead a mutiny against Admiral Holdo while she was trying to save the Resistance because you didn't trust her. She had no obligation to tell you what was going on, you were a captain. You had most of our fleet destroyed because you wanted to be a hero. No, I didn't trust you."

"Yet for some reason, you believe every word that comes out of Kylo Ren's murderous mouth?"

"He's never lied to me, Poe, not once. The Force helps me detect lies." That's a lie, but he doesn't need to know that.

"How long have you been working with him?"

"Since about six months after Crait."

"And during those six months?"

"I am not going to be interrogated by you." I make to leave, but he grabs my arm. "Let go of me."

"Why do you trust him so much? What the Hell has he done to earn your sympathy?"

"He killed Snoke, you lurdo!"

"What?"

"He killed Snoke. Snoke told him to kill me, but he killed Snoke instead. He chose me."

"Then he nearly destroyed us all on Crait."

"And after that? Nothing. He didn't do anything for months. The only attacks on us were minor, and once we were speaking again he warned me of attacks so that we could escape. Poe, you owe him your life." I almost yell, but these walls are thin. "Now, you will be civil and allow these negotiations to take place, do you understand me, Commander?"

"Yes, ma'am." I outrank him. Leia gave me a rather high rank in the Resistance a few months ago under the claim of me being the final Jedi, but it was really so I would have the authority to make decisions regarding Ben.

"Good. I won't have anyone messing up what we've worked so hard for."


	17. An Agreement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive.  
> Sort of.  
> Physically.  
> My classes start in two weeks.

**One Week Later**

The fields are barren.

There is nowhere for ambushers to hide, not that they would have anything to ambush us with.

Poe drives the ground speeder to about twenty feet from the middle of the field where the First Order is waiting for us. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren stands in-between General Hux and the new lead Stormtrooper who has taken over as Captain Phasma (chrome armor and all). Several other officers stand on either side of them as well as a Tyvarian safety officer.

Poe hops out and gently helps the General out of the speeder, I guess attempting to show how much better a son he is to her. He attempts to help me, but I'm having none of that.

"Sorry for being late, the speeder we asked for was not ready when we arrived." General Organa walks towards the group with the grace and poise of a queen. She acts as if this was not the first time she's met her son since he reached adulthood.

"It is quite alright, General Organa. We had some issues getting here as well." Ben glares at Hux. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with us."

"Any chance to end this petty squabble and save lives is a chance that we have to take." This is it. Ben takes a few steps forwards and offers me his hand.

"Jedi Master Rey."

"Supreme Leader Kylo Ren."

"Will you please partake in leading these negotiations with me today."

"I would be honored." I take his hand, and he leads me down the middle of the two lines. Ben drops my hand as we turn to look back at the two lines. "We propose starting over, building a new galaxy based off of Democracy and equality. As someone who was sold into slavery at a young age, I wish to ensure that no one will suffer as I did."

"I agree with you, as does the First Order. Building a galaxy based off of the wills of those who inhabit it is most definitely what is best." Hux does not seem to agree.

"Under what terms do you agree to this?" The negotiations go on for several hours in relative peace until we reach the topic of Stormtroopers. "I trust that the First Order has files on each Stormtrooper and their origins, as well as their families."

"Yes, we do."

"All Stormtroopers must be returned to their homes or allowed to live freely if they do not wish to return. They have been separated from their families for long enough."

"And those responsible for stealing the infants from their families?" Finn asks. We had this planned.

"And those responsible for stealing the infants from their families must be punished." Hux really does not like that.

"No." The ginger general sneers. "We will not agree to that."

"And who gave you the power to make such decisions, General?" Ben asks. Hux grabs his throat before stepping back. Well, completely peaceful negotiations were never going to happen anyways. "We agree to this condition."

"And who will lead this new government?" A First Order officer I don't know asks.

"The people will elect their own leaders; those leaders will elect a group of moderators," Ben explains.

"Not you?"

"No, not me. I do not wish to continue as a political leader once this war is finished."

"Master Rey?" Lieutenant Connix asks.

"No, I also wish to not pursue a career in politics."

It's nightfall before we finish our negotiations. Well, negotiations finished some time ago, but planning is just starting to get underway.

"What do we do now?" Poe asks once Ben and I dismiss everyone.

"Return to the ship if you like, there's an inn not far from here, do whatever it is that you would like, Dameron," Leia replies before walking over to Ben and me. "I shall be going to the inn. It's been a long day. We will all return here in the morning, around nine standard. Does that work for everyone?"

"I will go with you, Leia," I inform her after everyone gives their consent to the time.

"Thank you, Rey." Leia starts back towards the speeder. "Is anyone else going to the inn?"

"I will be," Ben replies.

"Then come with us, it will be easier." Hux looks so confused.

"Thank you." Ben helps his mother and then myself into the speeder. Several others (including some First Order officers) get in with us. Hux is still standing there utterly confused.

-oOo-

After accommodations were made for everyone and dinner was eaten, Leia invited Ben and me into her room. "Ben."

"Mom." As soon as the door was closed Ben practically fell apart in his mother's arms. She pushes his hair back to check over his face. Her fingers trace the scar. I feel like I'm intruding. I don't know how this five-foot-one-inch woman is holding her six-foot-five-inch tall son together, but she is. She whispers things to him which cause tears to leak out of his dark eyes, eyes he got from her. He repeats how sorry he is, how much he wishes he could change the past.

"That doesn't matter now," Leia assures him, wiping tears from his face. "What matters is that now you're working to fix it. You're working to build a better galaxy despite everything that's happened. Ben, you'll be the hero you were meant to be."

"I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy of any of it. I'm not worthy to be a hero or your son."

"Oh, Ben, no matter what you've done, you have always been my son." Another round of tears leaks from his eyes.


	18. A Different Sort of Agreement

I was eventually asked to leave, they had some family things that they needed to discuss, and I don't have a place in that. However, Ben should be joining me soon enough. The inn is nice, certainly nicer than anywhere else I've ever slept, but it's still homely. Dark red/brown walls, shiny wooden floors, overstuffed chairs. I honestly could stay here forever. I think this building has been here forever, most places don't use wood anymore.

"Rey."

"Ben." I look up to see him in the doorway.

"How about we go for a walk? There's a lake near here." He walks towards me.

"I would love to." I take his hand and follow him out of the inn. We pass several Resistance and First Order officers on our way out who all look alarmed. They don't say anything, they just stare at us. Whispers start behind us, but I don't really care. We knew that this was going to confuse everyone, kriff it confuses us.

"Was your flight here alright?"

"Yes, it was quite simple. We didn't have any trouble getting on the planet either."

"Hux attempted to smuggle a small blaster on him. That's why we ran late."

"I figured since you glared at him as you said that." No one's been brave enough to say anything to us yet. "We had some problems with our people, but those were resolved rather quickly."

"Ren." We stop and turn to see a thoroughly confused Armitage Hux. "What the hell are you doing? Why are you fraternizing with the enemy?"

"Did you forget that we ended the war today?" Ben replies coolly, holding my hand once again.

"You think that these negotiations mean anything? You truly believe that this will end all conflicts forever?" Hux sneers.

"No, but it will end this one and that's the only one I care about at the moment."

"You will return to your room and sleep through the night." I'm tired of this.

"Who are you to be giving me orders?" Hux spits at me. "Rebel scum."

"You will return to your room and sleep through the night," I repeat more forcefully.

"I will return to my room and sleep through the night." Ben starts laughing next to me as General Hux robotically marches towards his room. Everyone else in the hallway stares at me, thoroughly horrified.

"Does anyone else need help sleeping?" They all shake their heads. "Then goodnight."

I turn back to the direction we were walking in and drag Ben outside.

"This way." He leads me down a path lit by lanterns. It's beautiful. Not too far in the distance I see the lake he must be talking about lined with more lanterns. "Do you like it?"

"It's wonderful." I smile at him. "Truly wonderful."

"Come on, let's get closer." The path twists and turns down the hill to the lake, but it's worth it. The light from the lanterns reflects off the inky black lake. "This way." He leads me to a little clearing on the side of the lake, where we can stand without disturbing anyone. We embrace as soon as we reach the clearing like we haven't seen each other in years. My head rests on his shoulder as he buries his face in my neck. "I can't believe we've made it."

"We did it." Tears start to leak from my eyes. "We did it."

"Sure as hell took long enough." Ben mumbles.

"That it did." My fingers run through the ends of his hair. "But we're still not quite done."

"No." He grumbles. "But soon enough we'll be done, and we can go explore the universe."

"We've already got some volunteers to help us build."

"Do they know I'm involved?"

"Some of them do." Rose, Finn…no one else.

"I bet we'll lose volunteers once that becomes public knowledge."

"Oh, get over yourself, many of them have forgiven you. I think that they don't quite understand, though. I think that at least some of them believe you've been a double-agent this entire time."

"Well, that works I guess." He gently strokes my waist before gently pulling away from me. "Rey, I need to ask you something."

Okay, now. "Yes?"

"Rey, I have been in love with you for far longer than I would care to admit. Ever since I first saw you I knew that there was something about you. Long before we met I had visions of a powerful Force user, my equal in the light. When the Force bound us together it just proved to me that whatever attraction I felt towards you meant something more than I could ever understand." Our hands are joined between us. "When you rejected me onboard the Supremacy it ripped my heart in half. When you closed that door on Crait I knew what I had to do. I knew that I had to work my ass off to fix myself and prove that I was worthy of you. I'm still not sure if I have. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, I've done a lot of horrible things. But falling in love with you was one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. You gave me the drive to right my ways when no one else could.

"My father, my mother, no one has been able to do this. I hope, that I've done enough to be worthy of everything you've given me. I have made my decision about where I want to be in life, and now I am asking for yours." He releases one of my hands and reaches for a small pocket from which he pulls out a ring. "Rey, will you marry me?"

"Yes. Yes." I laugh and kiss him. He slips the ring onto my finger and kisses me again.

"Was that good enough? I've been practicing for like a month."

"Yes, it was good enough."

"Good because I can't do that again."

-oOo-

"I assume since you're both here she said yes." Okay, Leia knew.

"Yes." I laugh. "I said yes."

"Then it's finally time to welcome you to the family." Leia rises from her seat and embraces me. It's not much of a family, currently made up of two people, but it's more than I've ever had. It may be small, but it's still good. Leia grabs her son and pulls him over to us so that we're all in this hug. Tears start trailing down my face, and Leia brushes them aside which only causes more tears.

I don't think I've ever felt like this.

Such joy.

Such peace.

Such love.

"That's enough tears," Leia says, wiping my face again. "This is a happy day."

"And these are happy tears." I smile. She smiles back and gently takes my right hand and Ben's left, joining them together.

"I don't know the last time I was this happy." Leia laughs. "Oh, there's so much to do, so much to plan. However, it's late, and we still have things to do in the morning. Go to bed, we all need the rest."

It takes another five minutes for us to leave. Leia hugged us each for a long time, assuring us of how proud she is of us and how much she loves us. I've never known what having a mother is like, but if this is it I have never been so sorry to miss it.

"Goodnight!" She calls as we exit.

"Goodnight." We reply.

"Come on, let's go to bed." I take Ben's hand and start pulling him towards our room.

"Yes, bed."

"Are you that tired?" I look back at him. No, he's not tired, but we should be getting to our bed.

Lips mold together as soon as the door closes behind us.


	19. One Step Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They aren't quite finished yet.

I wake up the next morning far happier than I've been in a long time. Ben's still asleep and snoring lightly. He looks so much younger when he's asleep, his face less tense. That scar running down his face and to his chest still stands as a reminder not just of his age, but how far we've come. It's been a long time coming, but we're here.

I lightly trace the scar over his face, not wanting to wake him, but not being able to help myself. Once my fingers reach his jawline he snatches my hand and presses it to his lips. "Morning."

"Good morning." I smile up at him.

"We got engaged." He twists the engagement ring around my finger.

"That we did."

"Never expected that to happen. Never expected any of last night to happen." He lets his head fall back on the pillow.

"You've asked me twice! Nearly three times!" I remind him.

"Okay, but that doesn't mean I ever really thought it would happen!"

"We've discussed it! You knew I was going to say yes yesterday!"

"It honestly all felt like a dream like it wasn't real." Oh, Ben. "None of this has felt real. It's all felt like some fantasy."

"It's real, Ben. I'm real. You're real. It's all real." I stroke the side of his face with the back of my fingers. "We're real."

"We're real." He repeats twisting his fingers through my hair and pulling my face towards his. My arms wind their way around his neck, and most of my body gets pulled on top of his. I groan lightly as he gently bites my lower lip and tugs at it. One of his hands remains in my hair and the other moves from my bare waist down to my hip pulling me closer and closer to him.

Then the Force-damned time holo starts beeping.

"We have to get up." I groan and slap at the damned thing.

"I don't want to."

"We have to, or our peers will start fighting again." I push off his chest and go to get dressed.

-oOo-

"Poe, take a couple others and go sit at that table." I point towards a table half-filled with First Order officers. "We're trying to bridge the gap, you can eat breakfast with them."

Poe grumbles but does as I say, taking Lieutenant Connix and someone else to sit at the table. "He's still pissed."

"And I sadly fear that he's going to remain that way." Leia sighs. We're sitting at a round table with Ben between us. So far, no one has been brave enough to take one of the empty seats.

"So, Rey, you got something that you want to tell me?" Apparently, Rose is brave enough to take one of the empty seats.

"Yes." I simply stick out my left hand for her to look at while continuing to eat with my right. She squeals slightly before throwing her arms around me in a hug. She successfully knocks me into Ben, who is thankfully a brick wall of a human being so no one else falls over. "Rose!"

"Sorry, I'm just excited." She pulls away and sits back down. Everyone in the room is staring at us at this point.

"We will be explaining today at the negotiations," Leia announces. Great. "Everyone return to your meals."

"You have to tell me everything." Rose grins. "Everything."

"Later, I swear."

"I'll hold you to it." Yes Rose, I know.

"Congratulations," Finn says just loud enough so that the other tables won't hear.

"Thank you." I mouth back.

The rest of breakfast goes by in relative peace. The First Order officers sitting with Poe even laugh at one point. They laugh. I was not aware that they knew how to laugh.

When we all meet back up on the field (some of them went back to their ships), there's an awkward silence hanging in the air. Everyone who was at breakfast knows that an announcement is coming and is anxious because of it. Everyone not at breakfast is anxious because all of the people at breakfast are anxious.

I don't know if we'll be making it more awkward or less.

"As some of you know, there was an incident at breakfast this morning which caused the promise of an announcement." I stand with my hands clasped behind my back lest someone notice the ring.

"Last night we became engaged to be married." And I thought it was silent before. Everyone not pre-informed is gaping at us like we each grew a second head. Rose is grinning ear-to-ear, Finn seems mildly amused, Leia wears a kind smile.

"The hell?" Poe is the first to respond.

"You heard him," I reply simply while taking Ben's hand. "We're engaged."

"I think we broke them," Ben comments after a few more moments of silence.

"I think so," I reply after a few more. It seems everyone is still trying to wrap their brains around this. "You want to break them more?"

"Why not?" They all stare at us amazed and intrigued, wondering how we could possibly break them more. Well, I take Ben's jaw in my hand and kiss him. Several people audibly gasp. What did you think "engaged to be married" meant? Did you think we were going to get married and not kiss or do  _other things_?

"That's enough." We break apart to see a royally pissed-off Hux. "I have had enough of this bantha-fodder. You, you've been working with them this entire time, haven't you? You've planned it all! You traitor to the Order! That's the only way to explain it. Why you were so demanding that we negotiate, why you refused to let us attack them, all of those times you would just run out a room, those days where you would just disappear, last night. Nothing else could explain this, you've met this rebel scum three times before now there's no way for this sort of decision to be made. Though I assume now that it was more than three times since you've betrayed us."

Hux pulls out a blaster and shoots it at Ben.

"No!" I stick out my hand and freeze the bolt. The two Tyvarian Safety Officers tackle Hux after Ben freezes him in place, prying the blaster out of his hands. How did he even get that down here? "Um…what do I do with the bolt?"

"Is there any way for you to get rid of it?" One officer asks. I shake my head. "Can you release it somewhere safely?"

"Allow me." Ben takes control of the bolt once Hux is properly detained. He turns it and releases it so that it hits a nearby hillside. Once Hux is gone we are able to return to our negotiations and planning. "We have one more announcement. After all of this is said and done, Rey and I will be starting an Academy for Force-Sensitive children."

"Together, we will be balancing out the Light and Dark sides of the Force to create a new Gray Jedi Order."


	20. Trial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey testifies.

**Two Months Later**

"Look at you, kid. You've finally done it." Anakin sits down next to me.

"What? Ended the war?"

"Also gotten engaged."

"That I did." I agree. "Will you be there?"

"Am I invited?"

"Yes, you are. You've helped me so much through all of this, and you're Ben's family. The others are invited, too, of course. I want Master Luke there."

"Does Ben?" No. "Leia won't want me there."

"I want you there, all of you. Master Obi-Wan, Master Yoda, Master Luke, you. It's my wedding, I get to decide who's invited."

"Alright, alright. We'll be there. You may not see us, but we'll be there."

"Where have you been? It's been nearly a month since the war ended."

"Doing ghost things." Oh, that's helpful. "You've been busy, the last thing you needed was a ghost popping around to make small talk. How's Ben holding up?"

"You mean considering the fact that he's currently in a jail cell?" After all of the leaders of the planets gathered together, they decided that Ben had to go through a trial. So, he was promptly arrested and taken to prison to await trial. We're currently in the middle of it, tomorrow I have to go testify to his involvement in the ending of the war. Up until now, it's just been people testifying as to why he should be executed. It's been Hell to sit through, and I can hardly imagine what it's been like for him. However, he's doing everything they ask, he isn't resisting anything. We're just hoping that his compliance, his mother's testimony, and mine are going to be enough to save him.

"Yes, considering that."

"It's taken a toll on him, on all of us. I'm just ready for it all to be over."

"It will be soon. Soon he'll be free, and you'll get married, and live happily ever after."

"We should have just run away, gone to the Outer Rim, and just spent the rest of our lives there."

"But then you would never be able to return to see your friends and family. You also wouldn't be able to run your academy."

"This is all assuming that he gets a) to live, and b) to go free."

"I'm sure he will. After all, he does have the last Jedi for a fiancée."

-oOo-

"Please state your full name for the record." I've been injected with some sort of "truth serum". Leia told me that it's made from some creature. I don't know, but I can't lie.

"My birth name was Kira. However, I have gone by the name Rey for most of my life and only learned recently of my birth name."

"No last name?" The man asks.

"Not that I am aware of."

"And what is your relationship to Kylo Ren?" I look over at the pod thing that Ben sits in. He gives me a slight smile, not much, but it's there.

"I am engaged to be married to Ben Solo." A murmur breaks out in the New Senate. "I am also bound to him in the Force."

"And what do you mean by 'bound to him in the Force'?"

"The Force linked our minds together. We are able to communicate from opposite sides of the galaxy. We are able to see and hear each other, but not each other's surroundings."

"Can it be used to manipulate each other?"

"No, we cannot harm each other through the bond, manipulate each other, or use any Force powers through the bond."

"Kylo Ren has claimed that the two of you worked together to end the war between the First Order and the Resistance. Is this true?"

"Yes."

"Whose idea was it?"

"His."

"Who all knew about the plan?"

"Ben Solo, Leia Organa Solo, Finn, Rose Tico, and myself."

"What exactly was your plan?"

"Our plan was to open the minds of everyone on both sides to the idea of negotiating an end to the war. When we felt that it was time, we were to put an end to it."

"Is this how it worked out?"

"No. We had to change our plans because we had found out that an assassin had been hired to kill him by a First Order officer. So, we quickly decided on a time and place for negotiations. I then revealed what had been happening to the Resistance."

"And what was the timetable for all of this like? When did you two first team up?"

"We discovered our bond shortly after the destruction of Starkiller, while I was being trained by Jedi Master Luke Skywalker." Many, many murmurs surround me. "A little while later I went to the Supremacy to turn Ben Solo. There he killed Snoke instead of killing me," the leader has to call for silence several times after that, "and we fought the Praetorian guards together. He then offered me a place by his side in a New Order. When I refused we fought over Master Skywalker's lightsaber, splitting it in two. There was an explosion that knocked us both unconscious. I woke up, took the saber, and fled on Snoke's escape craft. Then the Battle of Crait occurred. For six months we didn't speak, even though the bond remained intact. Until one day, when he asked me to meet him on Takodana. There he proposed his plan to me."

"And you are trained in the Jedi ways?"

"Yes, I am. I was trained briefly by Jedi Master Luke Skywalker before his passing and since have learned from the ancient Jedi texts and by communicating with the spirits of former Jedi. I am the last Jedi." More murmurs engulf me.

"Silence! I am sure that you know the crimes that your fiancé is being accused of."

"Yes, I do."

"As the last Jedi do you believe that he is redeemable? Do you believe that he has atoned for his sins?"

"I do." I nod. The hush that follows is practically deafening. The tension is so thick.

"She's engaged to him! She isn't a reliable source!" One senator cries.

"Those influenced by the serum never lie. I asked her if she believed that as the last Jedi, not as his fiancé. She told us the truth as a Jedi."

-oOo-

"You did incredibly," Ben assures me, hugging me close. As soon as he was returned to his cell, we opened the bond.

"I just hope that I did enough."

"I'll get out of here eventually, and then we'll be married."

"But when? They could just give you a life sentence instead of death."

"Sweetheart, I'd wait a thousand years for you." He cups my jaw in his hands.

"Sweetheart?" He hasn't called me that before.

"It's an endearment. My father called my mother that more often than he called her by name." He explains.

"Oh. I don't feel well."

"The Truth Serum's wearing off. You need to lie down."


	21. The Judgment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More than one judgment is made.

"After reviewing all of the evidence and much deliberation, this Senate has reached its final verdict in regard to Kylo Ren." Leia's hand squeezes mine so tightly I fear a bone might break. "Due to his objections against the destruction of the Hosnian system and attempts to stop it, he will not be executed." I release my breath. "And due to his role in the dismantling of the First Order, leadership role in ending the war, and agreement to aid us in the trials of other First Order members, we have elected to grant Ben Solo his freedom."

A boulder is lifted off of my chest.

Tears of relief spill from Leia's eyes.

He's free.

He's free.

"We trust that Jedi Master Rey and Princess Leia Organa Solo will be able to keep him in line. However, if we have any probable cause to arrest him, he shall be without a retrial." We can live with that.

-oOo-

"Ben!" Leia cries once we reach him.

"Mom." He steps away from the guards and embraces his mother. They stand there for around a minute, just grappling with everything. It's been nearly two months since he's been incarcerated. We've been able to visit him, but it's only for a few minutes.

"Alright, I know who you really want to see." Leia steps away from him.

"Mom." She gives him a pointed look before he walks over to me. "Thank you."

"You're the one who did it. I just confirmed most things." I wrap my arms around his neck. He's so tall.

"They wouldn't have let me go if it weren't for you." His strong hands rest on the small of my back. He leans over me, brushing our noses together before pressing his lips to mine.

-oOo-

I'm trying on Wedding Dresses today.

Apparently, even though less than a dozen beings are going to be at my wedding, I still have to get a special dress.

Because my soon to be mother-in-law said so.

Yay.

I'm currently on Naboo which is where we're going to get married; Ben is currently testifying in General Hux's trial.

Since my fiancé is gone, Leia has decided that now is the perfect time to choose my wedding dress.

A dressmaker from Naboo has brought more dresses than I have ever seen in my life. Almost two dozen white gowns hang on racks along one of the walls. This is going to take a while. "Do you know what style of dress you want to wear?"

"No."

"Then we'll just have to try them all." Oh no.

-oOo-

"I guess that at the very least, it was a learning experience. I learned about many clothing things that I was unaware existed: zippers, embroidery, beading, etc. I was apparently woefully ignorant of everything."

"You didn't exactly grow up somewhere that you would have access to a variety of clothes."

"But I left over a year ago and somehow just not come across these things." I remind him. "Half of the dresses weighed more than me."

"Naboo is very…proud of their fashion. You should see half the gowns my grandmother wore."

"I've seen some paintings of her. She was very beautiful." The people of Naboo still adore their former Queen and Senator.

"My mother has her actual gowns."

"Really?"

"She's saving them in hopes of a granddaughter." Ben's cheeks tint red. We have not discussed having children. We probably should, but…I don't want to.

"I did choose a dress." Let's change topics.

"What does it look like?"

"I have been told that I can't tell you or show it to you."

"You can't tell me anything?" His full lips pout.

"It's white," He gives me an unamused look, "and a dress."

"Believe it or not, I've gathered that much on my own."

"You'll see it at our wedding."

"That I will." His pout is replaced by a small smile.

"How's everything going there?"

"Slowly, they still don't quite trust me alone." He sighs, fiddling with the ring around my finger. "Not that I blame them."

"Did you testify today?"

"Yes."

"Are you feeling alright?" That truth serum stuff is awful.

"I've almost gotten used to it."

"When should you be back?"

"A week standard if everything goes as planned."

-oOo-

"Maz?"

"Ah, Rey, how are you, child?"

"I'm alright. You?"

"Judging by that rock on your finger, you're better than alright." I should've known she would see it.

"Yes, I'm better than alright. That's actually what I contacted you about."

"Don't think that I haven't heard. Half the galaxy is talking about it. 'Kylo Ren apparently does have a heart.' 'There truly must be some good in him if a Jedi Master fell in love with him.' 'How ironic that the Jedi Killer fell in love with the last Jedi.'" The old woman muses. "Some people have already started treating the two of you like a fairytale."

"We're not even married yet."

"Oh, that doesn't matter, you transformed the most feared man in the galaxy into its hero."

"He did that himself."

"He did it for you." She graces me with a small smile. "Now, I feel as though there is something else that you want to tell me."

"Ben and I would like you to perform the ceremony."

"I would be honored."


	22. One Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding is tomorrow and the guests begin to arrive.

"Finn!" The man almost knocks me over as he attempts to hug me.

"Rey! How have you been? Congratulations!" He speaks faster than I can listen.

"I'm fine. How are you?" I laugh. It's been nearly three months since I saw him last. He's been working on helping the former Stormtroopers transition.

"I'm great. Things are going great."

"Where's Rose?"

"Talking with Leia about some wedding things." Of course. "You're getting married tomorrow."

"Yep."

"Are you excited?"

"Of course I am."

"I extended your invitation to Poe and Kaydel." Not too long after the war, Poe admitted his feelings for Lieutenant Kaydel Ko Connix. They've been helping Finn with the troopers.

"And?"

"Well, I asked Poe." He rubs the back of his neck.

"He's not coming." Finn shakes his head. "Alright, I was prepared for as much. He hasn't exactly been accepting of any of this."

"Kaydel sends her congratulations and hopes for a wonderful life."

"She isn't coming either?"

"She decided that it would probably be better for her to stay. She doesn't know you or Ben that well, it would be odd for her to be present without Poe." Finn explains.

"I guess."

"BB8's with Rose."

"Really?" I perk up.

"Yeah."

"Good. I've missed them."

"And not me? Your best friend?"

"I've missed you, too."

"Not as much as the droid?"

"I miss you both equally."

"Yeah, right." He scoffs playfully.

"I do! You both mean a lot to me." I laugh.

-oOo-

"So, you're getting married tomorrow." Rose sips her tea.

"Yes."

"How are you feeling?" We're spending the eve of my wedding on the opposite side of the house as Ben because apparently we aren't allowed to see each other before the ceremony.

"Nervous," I admit.

"Excited?"

"I guess. Nothing is really going to change."

"Nothing?" She wiggles her eyebrows slightly.

"Okay, one thing." One thing.

"Only one?" Her joking turns to slight shock. "You don't think that anything other than  _that_  is going to change because you're married?"

"Well, after this we're going to start on our Academy, so there's that."

"I'm happy for you." She admits. "And I hope that you and Ben will be happy."

"We are happy, and as soon as we find somewhere to build, we'll contact you."

"Hopefully it won't be too long, and if it is you should contact us just so that we know you're safe." Despite Maz saying that parts of the galaxy have started treating us a fairytale, there are other parts who want Ben's head on a plate.

"We will don't worry."

"Rey?"

"Hmm?" I look up from my mug. Her voice is soft, nervous even.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to." Slight concern. "But I was just wondering…when did you know that you were in love?"

"I don't know, I was in the middle of it before I knew that it had begun." I shrug.

"But when you got to that point, what made you finally decide 'yes, this is love'?" She places her mug to the side.

"Why?" My turn now, Rose. "Are you thinking about something, or someone I guess?"

"Yes."

"I thought that you two had been through all that." Like before I even met you.

"I was dying, Rey. I didn't know if I was going to survive…Finn and I talked about it afterward. We decided not to tell everyone else because it would be awkward, and it's not really anyone else's business."

"I understand." Relationship secrets are something that I know well. "But you think that you may be ready to say it and mean it now?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Love isn't a feeling, you don't feel something particular. It's not like every time I see Ben I have this feeling that I can just define as love. Yes, I get excited. Yes, I'm happier. However, I don't really define these feelings as love. I'm not really sure what it is to be perfectly honest. But I know that it isn't a feeling because feelings change. It's more a state of being, just caring about someone so much that the idea of being without them hurts you. I can't see a future without Ben in it. Are you that way about Finn?"

"Yes." She blushes. "How did you tell Ben?"

"We're not a standard, Rose."

"I know, but…I don't really have other people to turn to about this sort of thing. You two are somehow the most successful romantic relationship I've seen."

"That's a scary thought." I laugh.

"Not really. Think about it, you two have overcome impossible obstacles and are getting married. Most people wouldn't have been able to do half the things you've done."

"I guess." We have been through a lot.

"I didn't want to ask you tonight. Today and tomorrow and even the day after that are all about you and Ben; I didn't want to take away from that. But you're leaving to explore the galaxy in a few days, and I haven't been around for a while. I just needed your advice."

"No, no you're fine. You're fine. It's honestly easier to think about that than it is to think about the fact that I'm committing my life to another being tomorrow."

"And getting your family."

"I have a family, I'm just getting a husband."

"And eventually a blood family."

"Don't call it that!"

"That sounded less weird in my head." She admits.


	23. Almost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So very close.

I'm getting married today.

I'm getting married today.

I'm getting married today.

I kind of want to scream.

It's not that I'm not excited or don't want to get married.

It's just…

a lot.

It's a lot.

"Rey?" A knock on the door breaks my reverie.

"Yes?" I pull the blanket closer around my shoulders as the door opens to reveal my almost mother-in-law.

"How are you?" She takes a seat next to me on the bed. They took Ben away yesterday and made us swear not to open the bond, another wedding tradition. I'm honestly ready to be married just to be finished with wedding traditions.

"Nervous."

"I expected as much." She chuckles.

"How is he?"

"I don't know if ever went to sleep, he was pacing when I went to check on him."

"Oh no."

"He'll be fine." She rests her hand on my knee. "He's just nervous."

"Weddings are just two nervous people committing their lives to each other, aren't they?"

"Generally, yes." She laughs. "Are you hungry?"

"A little."

"Come on, let's get some breakfast."

-oOo-

It ended up not being a lot of breakfast. Not that a lot wasn't provided, I just couldn't stomach it. Mostly I just stared at the plate and nibbled on a piece of toast while Leia told me everything that we have to do before the wedding. It's a lot considering how few people are going to be there.

For the past two hours, Leia has been flitting between the two of us, making sure that we're both okay. Rose has stayed with me as has BB8. Finn decided that he should probably be with Ben so that he wasn't alone.

"Ow!"

"Sorry, Dear." Leia loosens her grip on my hair. She's attempting to put it up in some traditional wedding style, and while my hair has grown quite a bit since I left Jakku, it's still relatively short. "I'll be done soon, I promise. Hand me another pin."

Another ten minutes pass before a knock sounds from the door. "Come in."

"Maz!" I exclaim.

"Rey!" Leia cries as I attempt to get to my feet. I fall back on my rump, and Leia scolds me.

"Sorry." Leia has to restart the braid she was working on.

"Look at you, child." Maz takes my face in her small hands and looks me over. "You have aged."

"The passage of time tends to do that."

"Your face has aged, but there is a light in your eyes that was not there before. You're happy."

"I am," I admit.

"You deserve it."

"Thank you." Her small hands wrap around one of mine. "Thank you for doing this."

"No, thank you. It is an honor to be a part of this."

"We couldn't think of anyone else."

"I don't know if that says more about me or the other people you know." She laughs. "You two are going to be very happy, and I'll be telling the children who come to the Castle stories of you."

"Do many children come?" She relocated after her Castle was destroyed. She found another structure that suited her needs on a different planet and set up shop once again. It never really seemed like a child-friendly place to me.

"Ben did," Leia says behind me.

"That he did. He was such a cute child." The older women reminisce on when Ben was a child, and I'm so glad that I'm here for this. "He was always able to convince one of my workers to give him extra fruit. I didn't mind much, though she wasn't supposed to do that."

"Between the Force's influence and his father's charisma, Ben was able to get a lot of things from people."

"It seems those characteristics have faded with age."

"He was somehow able to convince you to marry him, so I'm not too sure about that." Leia! "What time is it?"

"Bit past fourteen standard." Rose reads from the clock.

"I should probably go check on him, I keep fearing that his head's going to explode." Leia finished my hair a little while ago. She put some white thing in it that has ribbons which run down my back. "I'll be back soon to help with your dress."

"I'm sorry, I don't believe that I've met you." Maz suddenly turns to Rose.

"Oh, I'm Rose Tico."

"Maz Kanata."

"Nice to meet you."

"Oh, I remember you, roundy." Maz turns to the droid. "You caused a lot of trouble, didn't you?"

The droid beeps back happily.

"It's nice to see you again, too."


	24. Ever Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding.

I might actually scream.

It's bad enough that I have all of my stress building up, but then Ben's is leaking over to me, which only stresses me out more about how stressed he is.

It's a vicious cycle, to say the least.

"Beautiful." Leia cups my cheek in her warm palm. "Absolutely perfect."

"Thank you," I reply bashfully. My gown is simple, Leia compared it to the fashion of her homeworld. It's white and floor-length. The waistline comes to a delicate point in the front. The neckline is rather high and in the center, sits a white ring which the fabric is gathered to. The sleeves are odd, they're not really sleeves. Sheer fabric is attached to where the sleeves would be, but instead of being sleeves, the fabric runs across the back of my dress and drapes down to the middle of my thighs, forming a sort of cape.

Everyone else has been banished to the balcony where the ceremony is going to take place. Can't have anyone seeing me until the actual ceremony.

If I ever have children, we're not going through all of this.

Unless they want to.

Then we will.

"I have something for you."

"Leia, you don't have to give me anything." You're already giving me your son.

"Then think of it as lending." She walks past me, and I try desperately not to fall over in this long dress as I turn. She picks up a fabric covered box and opens it to reveal a necklace made up of metal squares. "Alderaanian silver."

"It's beautiful."

"It's one of the last things I have from Alderaan. I would be honored if you would wear it today."

"Yes, yes of course."

"Sit." I do as she says so that she can put the necklace on me. "I wore this after the destruction of the first Death Star, at the ceremony celebrating Luke and Han. I haven't had many reasons to wear it since."

"Thank you."

-oOo-

I fidget with the crystal necklace around my neck. It isn't exactly the same as it was when I first made them. We had a professional jeweler make them into necklaces not too long after the war. The wire I had used started unraveling, and we couldn't get them to stay together.

Maybe it's a good thing because now we have proper chains, and they're not going to clash with our fancy wedding clothes.

The gentle murmur of voices on the other side of the door is deafened by the blood pumping in my ears.

I should not be this stressed.

I love Ben.

Ben loves me.

We're just getting married.

We're just getting married.

And then the murmuring stops.

Deep breath.

Deep breath.

On the other side of that door is my family and my future husband. That's all that's there. That's all that's there.

I quickly drop my hands in front of me when the door starts opening.

I forgot how to breathe.

Around a dozen people all stand there, staring at me, and waiting for me to move.

I should probably move.

My legs are shaky, but my steps are confident as I walk towards the man that I'm about to commit my life to robed in gray. He looks about as nervous as I feel.

As if he is in a daze, Ben takes a few steps towards me, meeting me halfway to Maz. That was not supposed to happen.

I never will tire of his eyes. They're so large and expressive. The brown so deep and warm. I've studied these eyes for hours, but they never cease to amaze me.

It's almost funny how hesitantly he offers his hand to me.

This time I take it, and we walk towards Maz together.

"I have seen many things in my years. I have seen empires rise and fall, heroes prevail and be defeated. I've traveled almost every inch of this galaxy, but I have never witnessed a union such as this." Maz smiles. "Worlds change every moment, lives change every second, but the only constant in this life or the next is the Force. The Force which bonded your souls together, and now I have been given the honor of binding your hands."

We go through all of the motions that we rehearsed repeatedly, saying our vows, exchanging rings. It's honestly somewhat a blur. All I can seem to focus on is him and his hand in mine.

"Now, you two have just been staring at each other with glazed eyes for the past ten minutes." Kriff. "So, it is now my honor to pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

She didn't even finish the sentence before Ben had me in his arms. I throw my arms around his neck, and we finally make it to our After. Suddenly, Ben hoists me up in the air, holding my knees up with one arm and my torso up with the other. My grip on his neck tightens as he spins us around, our lips never parting. It isn't until we've made two full rotations that our mouths release each other for air. My eyes remain shut as his forehead presses against mine. Our family cheers and laughs all around us, but the sound is muffled.

 _You can put me down now._ I murmur through the bond.

_No._

_You have to put me down eventually._

_Says who?_

_Me._

_Later._

_Ben._

_Fine._

My feet finally touch the floor, and I pull his face towards mine.

_I love you._

_I love you, too._ He nuzzles his nose against mine. A few new voices join the cheering, and Ben and I pull apart to see four ghosts amongst our wedding guests. I feel Ben freeze beneath my hand resting on his chest.

_Ben?_

_It's…_

_I invited them._

_What?_  His eyes snap back to me.

_I invited them._

_What? How?_

_I'll explain later._

-oOo-

It's late into the night before Ben and I are alone, after hours of eating and drinking and celebrating with our mish-mash of a family. The ghosts didn't stay after the ceremony, but they were there and that was all I asked. I have no clue what Master Yoda was other than short and green, though.

Finn, Rose, and Maz all yelled things at us as we left. Evidently being around Poe for extended periods of time has somewhat warped Finn. The alcohol in his system helped nothing, I'm sure. I'm not drunk, I only had one glass, but our few guests did not hold back. I'm sure Leia is ordering them all to bed right now, but that probably won't stop them.

As we near our door Ben sweeps me up into his arms again like he did earlier. "What are you doing?"

"Carrying you."

"Yes, but why?" I roll my eyes.

"Last wedding tradition, I promise." It better be. "Traditionally the groom carries the bride over the threshold."

"Why?"

"I don't know, something about evil spirits." He shrugs and readjusts his grip on me.

"I also think that you just enjoy carrying me like this." It's the third time that you've done it. Though I would prefer to not think about the first time.

"Maybe I do. Is there a problem with that?"

"No, it's actually somewhat convenient. I don't have to walk fast to keep up with you or stand on my toes to kiss you." I make my point by pressing my lips to his cheek. He turns his head and kisses my lips.

"Good to know that my height is such an inconvenience."

"It's not an inconvenience." I laugh. He finally brings us to the door. His chest rises and falls as he takes a deep breath before I press the button to open the door. He has to turn so that I go feet first into the room. The door slides closed behind us as Ben places me back on the floor.

"We're married."

"Is this just occurring to you now?" I wrap my arms around his neck.

"No, but it's suddenly becoming real." He lightly brushes my nose with his. "I love you."

"I love you, too." My hands latch to the front of his tunic and pull him flush with me. His right hand moves to where my hair should be, evidently forgetting that it was pulled up.

"Oh no, that has to come down." He pulls away, suddenly extremely serious. "Come on, I'll help." He pulls me over to the bed and sits down behind me. He starts by unclasping his mother's necklace on the back of my neck. "Where's the box for this?"

"Uh, I think she put it on the dresser." He gets up and finds the fabric-covered box before returning to the bed. Warm lips trail across the back of my neck.

"Ben."

"Hm?" He hums against my skin.

"You were doing something." I remind him. He presses another kiss to my neck before pulling away and turning his attention back to my hair. His long fingers dip into the braids and pull out the pins his mother had expertly placed.

"When I was little, I helped mom with her hair." He explains. "You have a lot less of it, so this is infinitely easier." We sit in silence after that, the only sound coming from the metallic pins which held my hair together. Nothing but pure contentment radiates through our bond. Once all of my hair is down, Ben's hands wander from my head down to my neck and shoulders and waist. He squeezes my slight hips before burying his face in my neck and pulling me into his lap. "I love you. I love you so Force-damned much."

"I love you, too." I bury one of my hands in his hair and place the other on top of one of his which rests on my abdomen.

"I had always thought that I'd end up alone, that I would die alone." This makes me turn, I still sit on his lap, but I am able to look him in the eye.

"You're not alone." I echo his words to me.

"And you'll never be alone again." Ben pulls me close and presses his lips to mine.

Life isn't perfect.

I'm not perfect.

He's not perfect.

We're not perfect.

No one's perfect.

But this, this moment, this is perfect.


	25. The After

Leia fights like her father, all swings, and spins and dramatic turns.

She's always taken after him. She has his eyes and complexion, a few beauty marks sprinkled across her face and arms, her hair is a darker shade of brown than mine.

But Ben's always claimed that she has my spirit. "That resilience, that drive, that want to help others," he says.

She's also got a lot of spirit from her namesake. Leia lived well into her sixties before illness took her life, but she lived long enough to meet her grandchild and spoil her rotten. She also gave her her sharp tongue.

I snap out of my reminiscing by the sound of a sharp crack to see Leia completely and utterly horrified while Ben has a bloody nose. "Good, Leia."

"Dad!" She yells, shutting off her saber and connecting it to her belt. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. I thought you'd be able to move out of the way."

"No, no, you did well. I'm impressed."

"What happened?" I walk over to my bloody husband. My own nose twinges through the bond, we share some pain, not as much as others who are bonded have. More when one of us is hurt, the other feels discomfort in that area.

"You weren't watching?" He pinches his nose, attempting to stint the bleeding.

"I was distracted." I untie my cloth belt and hold it up to his nose.

"I had her in a sort of headlock with the sabers. She stomped on my foot and turned to elbow me in the face. It worked." He takes the cloth and pinches his nose again.

"I thought that you'd be able to dodge it." Leia cries.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Leia. That was exactly the sort of thing I would expect either one of you to do. I'll be alright." Despite having most of her father's technique, Leia did inherit some of my "scrappier" fighting styles.

"I broke your nose!" She exclaims.

"I'm fine, I don't think it's broken." I can't really see it; the cloth is covering most of it.

"Come on, let's get inside and clean you up." I lead my family inside but not before noticing the students on the balcony, looking down at us. They all scramble once I make eye contact with them.

-oOo-

"I'm fine, Leia."

"Your nose is bruised!"

"I've gotten worse injuries this." He still has that now faded scar running up the side of his face. "I'm honestly just glad to know that you can fight even without your saber. Go, eat with your friends, you don't need to worry over me."

She reluctantly leaves us to go sit at her normal table. In our dining hall we have several small, round tables, and then one large one for the teachers and staff.

"What happened to you?" I look up to see Rose sitting across from us, and Finn taking the seat next to her. Ben and I shush her before looking quickly to Leia who's staring at us concerned.

"Leia and I were sparring, and she accidentally elbowed me in the face."

"Ooh," Finn cringes.

"She's really upset about it, so if you two would please be quiet." I sneak another look at my daughter.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry." Finn starts loading his plate with food. "Other than that, how was your day?"

"Fine, you?" Ben stabs at his vegetables.

"Alright," Finn shrugs. Once all of the Stormtroopers were taken care of, Finn started exploring different fields to find out what he actually liked to do. Turns out, he's pretty good at coding. He and another instructor teach the students how to code various programs and droids. Rose is still keeping strong with her mechanics classes.

Around five years into the Academy's existence, we started getting requests to teach non-Force-sensitive students. Locals around where we built on Dantooine wanted to give their kids an education. So, we provided. We're now just a regular Academy which has a special course for Force-Sensitive students. Honestly, looking back, I'm not sure why we didn't start it like this.

Leia's laugh rings clear through the dining hall. Good. Good. She isn't thinking about Ben.

Had you told me thirty years ago that I would:

a) Leave Jakku

b) Make friends

c) Become a Jedi

d) Fall in love

e) That it would be with a man who I should have hated

f) Ended a war with him

g) Married said man

h) Opened a school with him

i) Had a child with him

I would have thought that the heat had gotten to your head.

But now, looking at my friends in their middle-age, my husband with the smile on his face that makes me melt a little to this day, and my daughter laughing surrounded by her friends, I can't think of any other way I would want to spend my life.

Ben was right.

I never have been alone again.


End file.
